Likely's Whore-Box


Praise For Lord Likely

"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."

THE DAILY NEWS SHEET

"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."

THE LONDON LOOKER

"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."

LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER

"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."

THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS

"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"

THE TOWN CRIER

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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    08 March 2013

    Lord Save the Queen

    WHILE it is true to say that ANYTHING I choose to share through my wonderful journals is something to be treasured and admired for all eternity, I do concede that, of late, there has been a shocking lack of Astonishing Adventures. To this end I bring forth good news, ladies and gentlemen – an all-new Astonishing Adventure shall explode unto your delighted faces soon, like literary bukkake. 

    As you can tell from the frankly marvellous poster above, the title is ‘Her Majesty’s Secret Cervix’, for there is naturally only one thing that could bring this Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-Men of Action out of his self-imposed exile, and that is to be in service of Her Majesty, The Queen!

    This thrilling new tale shall debut shortly, thus improving the lives of my beloved readers one hundred percent, and restoring balance to the world once more. Do keep your eyes peeled for further announcements lest you miss my latest opus and are forever shunned by your peers and loved ones.

    Lord Likely is coming – and by royal appointment!

    - Lord Likely. 

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    13 February 2013

    In Which His Lordship Gives You His Heart

    AND they say that romance is dead. TSK. Happy Valentine’s Day to all you lovers out there! – Lord Likely. 

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 2 Remarkable Remarks »

    31 October 2012

    Lord Likely’s Halloween Horror: Last Orders

    Lord Likely presents a spine-chilling tale for Hallowe’en…

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Adventures Thus Far, Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    11 July 2012

    Louis Pasteur: Kraken Slayer

    Mr Louis Paster battles a fearsome KRAKEN.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 6 Remarkable Remarks »

    26 May 2012

    Upper Class Twitter

    Lord Likely celebrates four-and-a-half years of his use of the Twitter Device.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 2 Remarkable Remarks »

    06 May 2012

    Telegram Sex

    Lord Likely tries a new form of long-distance love-making.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 5 Remarkable Remarks »

    02 May 2012

    Look Likely

    His lordship dispenses invaluable fitness advice.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    04 April 2012

    Why being so fabulously wealthy and impossibly handsome is such a terrible burden, by Lord Likely

    Lord Likely ponders the challenges he faces in being so incredibly wealthy and good looking.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 1 Remarkable Remark »

    27 February 2012

    Lord Likely’s Top Fives

    As his Wooden Jubilee continues, Lord Likely shares his Top Fives…

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    25 February 2012

    Lord Likely’s Wooden Jubilee

    It’s Lord Likely’s Fifth Anniversary – or his ‘Wooden Jubilee’, if you will.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 6 Remarkable Remarks »

    01 February 2012

    How To Hold One’s Implement

    Click to embiggen. ONE OF the reasons for the sheer QUALITY of the prose in my astonishing adventures is that I, being a well-bred, well-educated sort of a chap, have learnt how to hold my pen correctly. Some people – especially commoners – seem mystified by the correct usage of this writing implement, and clutch [...]

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 9 Remarkable Remarks »

    30 January 2012

    Vote Likely!

    AS A reader of my journals, you are already well aware that they are the most thrilling, exciting, arousing and most downright hilarious writings that have e’er seen print, or indeed that will e’er see print. Now, finally, it seems that the rest of the world are also becoming aware of this indisputable fact, as [...]

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    18 January 2012

    Likelypedia

    IN LIGHT of the loss of our communal encyclopaedia, ‘Wikipedia‘, I have decided to step forth and aid those ignoramuses who still seek knowledge despite the blackout. Thus I am proud to present my very own astonishing… Likelypedia! I am a fountain of knowledge. Come, drink from my spout. ~A Aardvark: the aroused form of [...]

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    24 December 2011

    Lord Likely’s Christmas Message

    A Christmas message from Lord Likely himself.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    09 October 2011

    Likely vs Elemental

    AS A RICH, powerful, incredibly handsome and overwhelmingly male human being, I enjoy exclusive membership of London’s notorious ‘Bullion Club’ (motto: NIL PAUPERUM). ‘Tis a lovely, luxurious and opulent environment, where I can take time out from a busy day battering my man-servant (not a euphemism) or polishing my cane (a euphemism) and indulge in [...]

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 3 Remarkable Remarks »

    28 September 2011

    Mrs Darcy versus the Aliens versus Lord Likely

    His lordship has a very close encounter with an alien being, and a not-close-enough-for-his-liking encounter with Mrs. Elizabeth Darcy….

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 4 Remarkable Remarks »

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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