Likely's Whore-Box


Praise For Lord Likely

"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."

THE DAILY NEWS SHEET

"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."

THE LONDON LOOKER

"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."

LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER

"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."

THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS

"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"

THE TOWN CRIER

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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    16 October 2015

    Lord Likely Is A Card

    likelycards

    I AM something of an avid card player, and may often be found in a local tavern indulging in a few hands of either poker or Blackjack, or perhaps one of the less well-known games such as ‘Seven-Card Scrote’, ‘Twat the Joker’ or ‘Queen on Top.’ Perhaps my favourite game, however, is ‘Flinging a Gin in Your Opponent’s Face and Scarpering Before You Lose Yet Another Grand.’ Ah, cards. The game of kings!

    So it was something of a delight to discover that my own handsome visage features in a brand-new card game, even if it does mean that I must share a deck with that incorrigible cur, Professor Elemental.

    Yes, despite our differences, the Professor has seen fit to include me in the deck for his edition of the game ‘Pairs’ (probably because he does at least have the sense to see that my addition will help sales of this game to soar), produced by Hip Pocket Games and which is available to purchase hither.

    However, being the benevolent sort that I am, I have decided to offer my damnably fabulous readers the opportunity to win one of THREE packs of said cards. I know, I know. I AM staggeringly generous.

    To be in with a chance of winning a pack, simply answer this question:

    I have in my hand a deck of ordinary playing cards. They are shuffled, and I draw one card out of the pack. My question is this: which card is it?

    Simply write your guess (serious or silly) in the comments below, or send me an electronic mail (with ‘Is This Your Card?’ in the subject header). Alternatively, send me a tweet with the hashtag #isthisyourcard, or enter via The Book of Many Faces. Three lucky, lucky winners will be selected on November the 1st. No cash alternatives offered, so do not ask, you scrounging beggars. Winners will be selected based on either guessing the card correctly, or in the event of no-one getting it spot on, the closest or most humorous guesses shall triumph. His lordship’s decision is FINAL, and anyone wishing to dispute it may speak with my Thundercock, my pet lion.

    Good luck!

    – Lord Likely.

     

    Posted in Random Insertions | 6 Remarkable Remarks »

    29 May 2015

    How To Write A Book That Is Not Simply Irredeemable Arse-Paper

    Lord Likely, in his infinite wisdom, offers some advice for the would-be writer.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 1 Remarkable Remark »

    05 March 2015

    The Great Bidding War of 1882

    Lord Likely takes us on a history lesson, with the tale of The Great Bidding War of 1882.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    13 February 2015

    Lord Likely Is Coming

    Another tease for his lordship’s forthcoming electronic book…

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 2 Remarkable Remarks »

    20 November 2014

    In Which I Outsmart Mr. Sherlock Holmes

    Lord Likely dupes the ‘Great Detective’.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    12 September 2014

    Extra! Extra!

    Lord Likely announces the launch of his Magnificent Mailing List!

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 1 Remarkable Remark »

    10 September 2014

    Duck Me

    Lord Likely unearths a forgotten oddity from his publishing past.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    07 September 2014

    A Study in Strumpets and a Curious Conspiracy

    Lord Likely announces the imminent publication of his first electronic book – but is there a conspiracy to stop him?

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 1 Remarkable Remark »

    14 July 2014

    Fifteen And A Half Hilarious Victorian Jokes That Would Even Make Her Majesty Laugh

    Lord Likely present fifteen and a half genuine Victorian rib-ticklers for your amusement. You are welcome, world.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 45 Remarkable Remarks »

    11 July 2014

    Ten Victorian Insults To Make Your Enemies Crumble

    His Lordship shares ten Victorian vulgarities with which to strike down your worst enemy.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    25 November 2013

    An Astonishing and Arousing Announcement

    ‘Tis the most important literary event since Mr. William Shakespeare bought his first quill.  Further updates to follow, ladies and gentle-men! In the meantime, please do spread the word – LORD LIKELY IS COMING! – Lord Likely.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 1 Remarkable Remark »

    11 September 2013

    Taking the Pith

    Lord Likely gives a thorough review of issue two of ‘Professor Elemental Comics’.

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 1 Remarkable Remark »

    29 June 2013

    Gladstonebury

      Now THIS is what you call a festival.   – Lord Likely. 

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    08 March 2013

    Lord Save the Queen

    Lord Likely reveals details of his all-new adventure – coming soon!

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »

    13 February 2013

    In Which His Lordship Gives You His Heart

    AND they say that romance is dead. TSK. Happy Valentine’s Day to all you lovers out there! – Lord Likely. 

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Random Insertions | 2 Remarkable Remarks »

    31 October 2012

    Lord Likely’s Halloween Horror: Last Orders

    Lord Likely presents a spine-chilling tale for Hallowe’en…

    Read on, dear readers...

    Posted in Adventures Thus Far, Random Insertions | 1 Remarkable Remark »

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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