Likely's Whore-Box


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"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."

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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    28 June 2007

    The Likely Family Tree

    June, 1856

    With all this talk of my family, I decided to while away the time during our journey to Southampton by attempting to sketch out the Likely Family Tree.

    I say attempt, as any effort to trace my family’s roots is rather a chore, largely thank to my father’s various marriages and relationships. It is less a family tree, and more of a bloody great big forest.

    I managed to begin charting my family’s history, but did not get very far before I began to get a thumping head-ache and needed some whisky to calm my nerves.

    I have enclosed my aborted attempt, so others may use it as a basis for compiling a much more detailed chart in the future. And ruddy good luck to them, too.

    The Likely Family Tree, by Lord Likely.

    Feel free to explore it fully at your leisure.

    - Lord Likely.

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    Comments

    10 incredible interjections thus far.

    Scaryduck

    Fancy that. “Lord” seems to be a popular name in your family, Lord.

    Scaryduck, June 28th, 2007 at 12:08 pm

    the domestic minx

    Good Lord!!

    What a fascinating undertaking indeed!!

    It’s amazing what curious fruits can be found in the exploration of one’s family tree…

    the domestic minx, June 28th, 2007 at 4:22 pm

    Gorilla Bananas

    What sort of education did a boy get in a whorehouse? I sense that few are so lucky to receive that sort of traditional education these days.

    Gorilla Bananas, June 28th, 2007 at 10:32 pm

    Stephanie

    Maybe you should try and do Botter a family tree as well. I bet that would be more like a jungle, full of insects and parasites that no-one wishes to be associated with. Ha ha

    Stephanie, June 29th, 2007 at 1:43 am

    Thomas Hamburger Jnr

    It is wonderful that Lord L has discovered the delights of genealogy. All those strange diseases and impediments passed down through the generations, culminating in his Lordship’s strange and fascinating character.

    I am sure the family historians in blogdom will flock to read of your endeavours now you have stripped yourself for them. Well done!

    Thomas Hamburger Jnr, June 29th, 2007 at 3:47 am

    Lord Likely

    Good day, people!

    Mr. Scaryduck, we Likelys are indeed a noble family. I have heard it said time and time again that we are a family of nobs.

    Ms. Minx, I imagine there are a lot more fruits yet to be unearthed. And, quite possibly, a few nuts.

    Mr. Bananas, education in a whore-house may be lacking, but I hear that the Physical Education is second to none.

    Ms. Stephanie, I shudder to think about Botter’s family tree. I daresay it’d be more of a family stump.

    And thank you, Mr. Hamburger. This has been a fascinating endeavour, if not an exhausting one. And I am not even finished yet!

    I fear that should I ever complete my work, I will discover that, in fact, everyone on the planet is in somehow related to our family. I believe everyone has a bit of Likely in them.

    – Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, June 29th, 2007 at 4:52 am

    LadyTerri

    Omg! Lord Likely what a tree you belong to and all the prostitutes in your family, scandalush! I fear I need a double shot of that whiskey! right away :)

    LadyTerri, June 29th, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    The Drive-by Blogger

    No shame in having a prostitute in the family, eh Lord Likely? Even the most distinguished aristocratic family tree needs an occasional injection of commoner blood to prevent root rot.

    The Drive-by Blogger, June 29th, 2007 at 6:28 pm

    Thomas Hamburger Jnr

    “I believe everyone has a bit of Likely in them”

    I think I know a number of ladies who have wished as much, in their time.

    Thomas Hamburger Jnr, June 30th, 2007 at 1:31 am

    Lord Likely

    Good day!

    Ms. Terri, it is indeed a scandal that there is prostitutes in my family tree, for it means I cannot have sex with them. Well, not legally, at any rate.

    Mr. Blogger makes a fine point as well. I’d like to hold his point up for all to see.

    Mr. Hamburger, a lot of ladies have already had a bit of Likely, and dare I say they would crave some more? Yes, I do dare.

    - Lord Likely

    Lord Likely, July 3rd, 2007 at 10:54 am

    Speak Forth to the Lord

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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