26 February 2007
Destination: ADVENTURE!
February 27th 1856 (elevenses)
“Buckingham Palace?” exclaimed Botter, upon hearing me reveal the location of my latest stalker’s return address.
I sighed, as I am partial to doing when in the company of such low-level intelligence.
“Buckingham PLACE, Botter, you cloth-eared miscreant.”
“You what, your lordship?”
I rolled my eyes, and then clouted Botter with a nearby candlestick, sending him reeling in pain.
“Good,” I exclaimed. “At least one of your other remaining senses still seems to be functioning correctly. Now, Botter, go prepare the carriage, for we must venture into London Town.”
Botter, nursing a rather nasty head-wound, hastened away, but not before I had ensured that he had re-polished my recently bloodied antique candlestick.
The buffoon returned a full forty minutes later, having taken it upon himself to not only prepare our transportation, but to also attend to his ever-worsening injury. I made a mental note to dock his pay for the wasted time.
We finally left the mansion by horse-drawn carriage, shortly thereafter.
“To London Town, Botter!” I shouted from my carriage window. “Post-haste!”
February 27th 1856 (closing time)
I don’t recall much of the night’s events, but all I know is that we stopped off at a tavern for some light refreshments, and ended up spending six hours consuming much alcohol and engaging in a bar-room brawl with a traveling dance troupe from Finland.
We were no nearer to solving the mystery.
I did manage to vomit on Botter’s head, though, so it was not a completely wasted evening.
