05 October 2008
Six of the Best
“Well bless my soul! Is that little Lord Likely I can see? What an unexpected surprise!” beamed Professor Ventricle, my old biology teacher, as he entered his classroom wherein I was currently ensconced.
“The one and the same, sir,” I replied. “Although I am no longer little, I hasten to point out.”
“Indeed…indeed..” Ventricle replied. “And…um…who is this with you, may I ask?”
“Oh, her?” I said, indicating to the delightful Lizzie Flapkiss, whom I had artfully seduced into accompanying me to the classroom. “Why, this is Miss Elizabeth Flapkiss.”
“Ah, yes,” Ventricle said. “Used to have a face like a cat’s anus, as I recall.”
“Good…good…may I just enquire as to what Miss Flapkiss is doing bent over my desk with her buttocks exposed to one and all?”
“Well, Professor, I am afraid to report that Miss Flapkiss has been terribly ill-behaved, and thus I have decided to punish her by giving her six of the best, and soundly thrashing her behind with this cane, here.”
“I’ve been terribly naughty!” panted Lizzie.
“I see, I see. Yes, I suppose that makes sense,” Ventricle mused, stroking his long, thin, grey beard. “I am still slightly confused, though, Likely.”
“Well, why are you also thrusting your penis roughly into her arse-hole?”
“Ah, yes. Well, that is to teach her a little humility, my dear Professor.”
“No, not really. To be quite frank all I am actually doing is having rough, kinky sex with an extremely attractive bit of totty.”
Ventricle nodded. “Ah-ha! I thought as much, to be honest. You do not spend thirty-two years as a biology teacher without recognising the act of intercourse, you know.”
“Indeed not,” I concurred as I continued to thrust deeply into Lizzie’s back passage. “I cannot fool you, Professor!”
“I must say, I am very glad to see all of my lessons did not go unheeded. You yourself seem to have an excellent knowledge of biology.”
“I pride myself on being exceptionally intimiate with all parts of the female form,” I smiled, as I refocused my attentions on pounding the hell out of Lizzie’s anus.
Ventricle chuckled gently.
“Ah, but where are my manners?” I gasped, mid-thrust. “I am sure young Lizzie here would not mind tending to your own todger with her mouth and lips…”
“Not at all, not at all,” smiled Lizzie.
“Oh, how frightfully decent of you,” Ventricle remarked, positioning himself in front of Lizzie’s head, and unbuttoning his trousers.
“Think nothing of it,” I remarked, resuming my own erotic exertions.
“So,” Ventricle continued, as Lizzie took his flaccid flesh-pole into her mouth. “I presume you are here for the reunion?”
“Partly,” I answered as I watched my Lord Palmerston slide in and out of Lizzie’s filth-tube. “However, it seems I have found myself embroiled in another great adventure, as I am currently trying to track down the murderous fiend who has already taken two lives here at St. Bumthrusty’s.“
“Ah yes, a terrible business. Terrible,” sighed the Professor. “Tell me, do you suspect anyone of this foul play?”
“Indeed I do, indeed I do,” I began, but was interrupted by a knock at the classroom’s door, and then a young gentleman in his early twenties entered, carrying a tea-tray.
“Excuse the interruption, Professor,” said the chap. “I bought you some tea.”
“Thank you, m’boy!” beamed Ventricle. “Likely, meet Hedgerow, my laboratory assistant. He’s a frightfully good stick, tremendously helpful.”
“You are most kind, sir,” Hedgerow responded, placing the tea-tray down on one of the desks. “Would your guests care for some tea as well, Professor?”
“Likely? Cup of tea, dear boy?” asked Ventricle.
“Why not?” I replied.
“Jolly good. And Lizzie?…”
“I’m fine thank you professor,” Lizzie replied, taking a momentary pause from her cock-gobbling duties. “I’m not thirsty at the moment.”
“Fine, fine. Just two cups of tea then, Hedgerow!” chirped Professor Ventricle. Hedgerow nodded, and set about preparing the beverages, while Ventricle urged me to resume my account of the day’s events.
“Yes, well, I strongly suspect the murderer to be a former pupil from the school,” I shouted, in an effort to make my voice heard above the sound of my balls slapping loudly against Miss Flapkiss’ arse. “I believe it is one Harold Loathsome.”
“Loathsome…Loathsome…” mused Ventricle as Lizzie continued to slurp greedily upon his scholarly sperm-stick. “Can’t say the name rings a bell, to be honest.”
“No matter. I’m sure I shall apprehend him nonetheless, and save the day once more. Ah, thank you Hedgerow,” I said, as Ventricle’s assistant passed me a cup of tea. Hedgerow smiled, and as he leant over to give the professor his tea, Lizzie stretched out a dainty hand and slowly began stroking the lad’s groin.
“Oh-ho!” I remarked as I sipped my tea. “It seems like Miss Flapkiss has a thirst for more penis!”
“So it does!” agreed Ventricle. “Go on, Hedgerow! Don’t be embarrased! Join us, won’t you?”
Hedgerow looked a little unsure for a moment, but then he seemed to come round to the idea, and soon enough he had dropped his trousers and was enjoying some fine hand-relief from the lovely Lizzie.
“So, Likely, where do you suppose this Loathsome chap is now, then?” Ventricle asked.
“I imagine he is close by, biding his time before his next attack,” I replied, gently inserting two fingers into Lizzie’s increasingly wet vagina. “However, so far all my attenpts to track him down have proven rather fruitless, I am afraid to say.”
“GERALD!” screamed a new voice, which rather served to put me off my stroke. We all turned our heads to see a rather thin, middle-aged woman, her blonde hair pulled up into a rather tight bun. She was stood in the doorway, looking less than impressed with Professor Ventricle’s current leisure pursuit.
“Oh!” exclaimed Ventricle. “Veronica! How delightful to see you…”
“Don’t you Veronica me, Gerald.” snapped the lady. “You were supposed to meet me outside the school fifteen minutes ago, remember? We are supposed to be going to visit my mother!”
“Blast it!” Ventricle said, slapping his forehead. “I completely forgot, darling. I am so sorry…”
“It simply will not do, Gerald,” Veronica huffed, crossing her arms. “I”ve been sat outside in a cold cab, waiting on you, when all the time you’ve been in here getting your love-pump licked by some strumpet or other.”
“Lizzie Flapkiss,” smiled Lizzie, as she prepared to move her mouth from Ventricle’s shaft to that of Hedgerow.
“Hm,” sniffed Veronica.
“Excuse me, madam!” I interjected. “Maybe, while you are here and all, you might like to partake in our friendly little foursome?”
The lady stared at me for moment, then relented. “Well, I suppose I have come all the way up here,” she said, unbuttoning her jacket.
“That’s the spirit!” I grinned. “You can squeeze in here, if you’d like to tongue Elizabeth’s mimsy for a while.”
“I don’t mind if I do,” Veronica consented, kneeling down beside me. “I find the taste of quim most agreeable.”
“Splendid. I’m Lord Likely, by the way,” I said, tipping my hat.
“Veronica Ventricle,” replied the professor’s wife, as she maneuvered herself under Lizzie’s mossy mound. “Pleasure to meet you.”
“Cup of tea?” offered Hedgerow, stretching across to the tea-tray while young Elizabeth sucked upon his nob-end.
“Mmmm,” consented Mrs. Ventricle, her mouth otherwise occupied.
“One lump or two?”
“I’ll take both,” chuckled Lizzie, taking Hedgerow’s scrotum into her mouth.
“My wife doesn’t take sugar, Hedgerow,” Ventricle said, as Lizzie furiously worked away on his tallywhacker with her spare hand.
“I think I may well do so at any minute,” replied Ventricle, and surely enough he subsequently did just that.
Hedgerow, meanwhile, finished preparing a fresh cup of tea, and placed it beside the Professor’s wife, who acknowledged the generous gesture with a muffled ‘thank you’.
“Likely,” continued Ventricle. “I’ve been thinking…about the school janitor…”
“Whatever helps you get in the mood, my good man!”
“No, no, no…you misunderstand. Last week we took on a new janitor here at the school, after the previous one died in a mysterious raking accident.”
“Raking accident?” I repeated, my interest piqued.
“Yes. It seems the poor fellow accidentally fell on his own rake seventeen times whilst clearing up some leaves last week.”
“Indeed. Then the unfortunate man accidentally hurled himself into the furnace. One day later, we had a new janitor…a rather quiet, blonde-haired chap…”
“Oh! Oh! OH!” I exclaimed.
“What? What is it, Likely? Are you getting an idea?”
“No, my dear professor, I believe I am about to ejaculate.”
“Allow me!” chimed Mrs. Ventricle, disengaging herself from Lizzie’s flaps and angling her face towards my throbbing Palmerston.
“Many thanks indeed,” I said, doffing my hat while I spurted forth arcs of silken man-paste into Mrs. Ventricle’s waiting mouth. “Actually, Professor, I think there may be something in this janitor business of which you speak…tell me, when did you last see the new chap?”
“It must have been about an hour or so ago,” Ventricle recalled. “He was talking to a fellow I didn’t recognise at all…small fellow, wore a bowler hat, seemed quite wretched…”
“Botter!” I cried, as Mrs. Ventricle gleefully swallowed my noble nut-cream. “Buggeration! If this new janitor is indeed Loathsome in disguise…then my man-servant may be in mortal trouble…”
I paused as fear gripped my entire body.
“…or he’s already dead.”
Silence descended upon the room.
“Now, what say we all swap positions here, and have another bash?” I beamed.
- Lord Likely.
Next Time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: Botter Beware!
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