17 June 2007
All Rise For Her Majesty
Due to all my recent adventuring, and my time spent in the United States of America, I completely overlooked the birthday celebrations of our current, reigning monarch, Queen Victoria.
This is a terrible oversight on my part. I usually make quite an occasion of her Majesty’s birthday (that being the twenty-fourth of May), as not only do I find her to be a truly inspirational and formidable woman, but I also will use any old excuse to have a ruddy great piss up, and get completely and utterly sloshed, and maybe pick a fight with a street urchin or two.
In an attempt to rectify my glaring oversight, I would now just like to take a moment to honour Her Majesty, under whose reign Great Britain has become even greater. This land has been transformed into a powerful, industrious and wealthy country, with an Empire that covers a quarter of the world, including Canada. Not too bad, for a woman.
At first, I must admit that I found the idea of a woman leading our great nation laughable, because as everyone knows women are far less intelligent than men, and are only fit for carrying out menial tasks such as washing and cooking, as well as the odd vigourous bout of intercourse. However, my initial concerns have been swept aside by this most magnificent of women, who has led the country with grace, dignity and supreme confidence, that often makes me quite forget that she does not have a penis. She has managed to overcome her gender-based disabilities with aplomb.
I thereby raise a glass of whisky to Her Majesty, Queen Victoria – our Sovereign, our leader, our ruler. I stand proud before her, and am happy to be at her service.
Plus, she also has a cracking pair of tits.
- Lord Likely.
Post-script: I promise to commence the transcription of my American adventure henceforth, just as soon as I have finished celebrating. That is, should my eyesight return promptly, and should Botter be able to pry me from my bed-chamber.