17 February 2009
Caught On A Photographic Device
From the journals of Inspector Albert Spunkleford, of Scotland Yard.
February the Sixteenth, Eighteen Fifty-Eight.
08:00am.
After days of searching every house, outhouse and whore-house, I am still no closer to finding the ever-elusive Lord Likely.
Maybe it is time I faced the awful truth – that Lord Likely, Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-Man of Action, is completely and utterly deceased.
I muse upon this over a delicious breakfast of jam and muffins, provided by my delightful wife, Mrs. Spunkleford. It is almost delicious enough to forgive her for her earlier indiscretion.
09:30am.
Arrive at Scotland Yard to some excited commotion. I am summoned to Chief Inspector Wiltwick’s office, whereupon it is explained that a mysterious envelope containing a selection of equally mysterious photographic images was delivered to the Yard this morning, by persons unknown.
The contents of this mysterious package have caused a great deal of hubbub and hoo-ha at the station, for each of the picture-graphs enclosed seemed to show what appears to be Lord Likely in various guises.
I present the images below, along with my comments.
The circled figure in this picture does seem to be his lordship, getting his shoes shined by a street-urchin. However, after having recently put a vicious boot-black behind bars, would Likely really employ the services of these untrustworthy miscreants so quickly?
There had been fairly recent twitterings that Lord Likely recently got in a fight with a bear, or at least a man in a bear-skin coat. Could this be his lordship with the creature, now fully tamed and under his control?
While the attire is distinctly un-lordly, the proud smile, the luxurious moustache and the fact he has a lovely lady on each arm seem to suggest that this could quite possibly be his lordship in disguise.
I have no idea why Lord Likely would be parading through a park with an elephant. Unless he was drunk. Which, to be fair, he usually is.
I am still quite unsure what to make of all this, but it is the first positive lead I have had this week, and my spirits have been considerably buoyed by this breakthrough. Could it be Likely has slipped out of the public eye, to set up a new home for himself somewhere else? Did he fake his own death just to witness the great outpouring of grief first-hand? Has he become wed to an elephant?
I do not know the answers to these questions. But I do feel quietly confident that his lordship is not, in fact, deceased, and shall be walking among us all again very soon…
- by Inspector A.R Spunkleford.
