Likely's Whore-Box


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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    01 February 2012

    How To Hold One’s Implement

    Click to embiggen.

    ONE OF the reasons for the sheer QUALITY of the prose in my astonishing adventures is that I, being a well-bred, well-educated sort of a chap, have learnt how to hold my pen correctly.

    Some people – especially commoners – seem mystified by the correct usage of this writing implement, and clutch it between their teeth, or hold it firmly betwixt their buttocks, or simply lay it on the desk and bat at it, like a curious cat. Some even wind up jabbing it into their own eyeball and proceed to run about the room screaming in agony that writing is pain, which it can be but normally it entices mental rather than physical discomfort.

    So, in order to help these soft-brained simpletons and to cut down on the number of emergency ward admissions, you shall find a guide to the CORRECT way to hold one’s pen above, as found by the delightfully-named Graphics Fairy.

    I, of course, have ne’er had trouble holding my own.

    - Lord Likely.

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    Comments

    9 incredible interjections thus far.

    Marisa Birns (@marisabirns)

    Good heavens! Pen? What’s a pen? *hits the keys on computer*

    Marisa Birns (@marisabirns), February 1st, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    swirlythingy

    There were way too few crude cock jokes in there for my liking. I feel potential has been squandered.

    Oh well, better make up… http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/printer.asp

    swirlythingy, February 1st, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    Lord Likely

    Ms. Birns: Com-pu-ter?….No, you have lost me!

    Lord Likely, February 1st, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    Lord Likely

    Mr. Swirlything: Ha-ha! I very nearly entitled this piece: ‘Holding One’s Pen Is Good’, but decided against it, displaying an uncharacteristic restraint on my part. So to speak.

    Lord Likely, February 1st, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    Chandu

    Reaaly good

    Chandu, February 3rd, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Sebastian Clouth

    Hello!
    I am the Watercooler/ Awesome TimeWasters (an awesome section of stories people like to share!) editor at Before It’s News (beforeitsnews.com). Our site is a rapidly growing people-powered news platform currently serving over 3 million visits a month. We like to call ourselves the “YouTube of news.”
    I would like to personally invite you to republish your website on our site. Our visitors would love to read your content, and get to know you as a blogger/source of news. It’s a great opportunity to spread the word about your work and reach new readers. Posting on Before It’s News is 100% free.

    We will be featuring and promoting websites that republish with us on our homepage, on Twitter, Facebook, in our newsletter and more. Don’t miss this opportunity to get fantastic exposure.

    We don’t censor or edit work.

    I hope you’ll choose to join the conversation at Before It’s News. I know our visitors will be very interested to sample your work and learn more about you. I hope to hear from you soon.

    Best regards,
    Sebastian Clouth (@B4INTimeWasters)
    SClouth@beforeitsnews.com

    Sebastian Clouth, February 6th, 2012 at 3:31 am

    Carrie Wendt

    Dear Sir,
    I wanted to share my delight on finding you. You sir, make me laugh. I like it, so I have decided I will return…. again, and again.
    Sincerely,
    Carrie Lee

    Carrie Wendt, February 7th, 2012 at 1:36 am

    Shelley Lundquist

    I do so like to be kept amused.

    Shelley Lundquist, February 21st, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    Lord Likely

    Dear Madam,

    I am delighted by your delight! ‘Tis most delightful! Do please keep on coming back, you shall always be welcome!

    Sincerely,

    Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, February 28th, 2012 at 1:44 am

    Speak Forth to the Lord

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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