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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    12 January 2008

    Intermission: Wherein Lord Likely is Well Liked

    January the 12th, 1857.

    I know I have just commenced upon the recollection of another of my astonishing adventures, and I acknowledge that it is rather bad form to interrupt my latest tale so soon in proceedings, but I have some news to impart to you all which simply cannot wait.

    At any rate, these are my journals and I shall do as I damned well please, so shut up.

    You may recall me mentioning that my wondrous journals had been nominated for an award recently, in the Performancing Awards, in the category of ‘Best Blog You’ve Never Heard Of‘. You may also remember me asking for my loyal readers to support my good and excellent self in the voting for the award, in the hope that I may win and be crowned as the best, the title of which I do not only deserve, but amply personify.

    Well, I am happy to report that I did indeed win the award in question, and by quite a considerable margin. This did leave me to wonder whether I was actually the best at being unheard of, as clearly plenty of people had heard of me in order to vote. Maybe the fellow with the least amount of votes should have one this particular prize? The mind quite literally boggles.

    At any rate, I am victorious, and for that I am truly grateful. I wish to thank you all for your sterling support, and your excellent button-pressing skills. It is gratifying to know that my lovely, beautiful readership are blessed with such deft digits and furiously fast fingers.

    A special Palmerston-sized thank you to Lord Fiar, who alerted me to my nomination in the first place. Many thanks indeed, good sir. Award yourself a shot of your favourite liquor as a reward!

    You may peruse the article hailing my victory in this article, wherein the award organiser Mr. Ryan Caldwell cites my astonishing adventures as being “original” and “quirky.” Far be it for me to look a gift horse in the mouth, I do take slight umbrage with the choice of adjective, there. Quirky to me conjures up images of the sort of witless goon one may encounter in the office or workplace, who wears brightly-coloured shirts and spends all day long quoting his favourtie comic writers and performers, in lieu of having anything actually witty to say for himself. “Oh, that fellow is most quirky,” his colleagues may say, but then I’d wager he is never invited out to join them at the local public house or staff party. Quirky indeed!

    I would have thought ‘sexy’ or ‘ridiculously fantastic’ would have been a better choice of words, myself.

    Anyhow, I should not grumble. I tip my quirky hat to Mr. Caldwell, and I thank you all again from the bottom of my ball-sacks. I am honestly very, very pleased to have won. And most highly aroused.

    Now I shall go and drink vast quantities of champagne to celebrate, and spend all night furiously polishing my award.

    And yes, I am referring to masturbation there.

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    *****

    Next time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: Flashman and Likely plot their escape, and then stumble into a thrilling new mystery! (Unless his lordship wins any more awards, of course).

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    Comments

    15 incredible interjections thus far.

    LOBO

    AS a longtime fan, I am honored to be among the first to say “Congrats” and IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME Milord.

    :)

    LOBO, January 12th, 2008 at 10:52 am

    Gorilla Bananas

    His Lordship will be ineligible to retain his title because next year everyone will have heard about him!

    Gorilla Bananas, January 12th, 2008 at 11:58 am

    Nessa

    Your Lordship deserves to have several maids polish Your award for such a spectacular win.

    Nessa, January 12th, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    nursemyra

    you shouldn’t have to polish your own award tonight – even if you don’t know your nouns from your adjectives :-)

    I for one would be delighted to polish your award and anything else of yours that needs polishing

    nursemyra, January 12th, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    Hungry Ghost

    Mr. Lord – please forgive my absence. The family fortune was squandered by cheap women and drink and I have been forced to work like a common peasant. I will do my best to visit on a regular basis – so much has happened, I must catch up.

    Hungry Ghost, January 12th, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    Chris C

    Congrats! Great job man, you deserve it :)

    Chris C, January 12th, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    Lord Likely

    Good day, all!

    Lord Lobo, you may indeed be the first to say that. And the second, third, fourth and fifth, if you so desire. I never tire of hearing it!

    Mr. Bananas, I fear you are quite correct. I suppose I shall just have to go for The Best Blog Ever Written award, instead.

    Dame Nessa, I think that is a marvelous idea. Bring on the maids, so that they may bring off the lord!

    My dear Nurse Myra, I feel ashamed. How could have I confused my nouns for my adjectives? A most amateurish mistake, I fear. That will teach me to start drinking so early. I have amended the error, of course, lest I look like a ninny. Now, about this polishing service you supply?…

    Mr. Ghost, you have been missed, sir! Confound the wretched travails of working life! Pah!

    Mr. Chris, many thank yous. I do indeed deserve this award, and pretty much every other award going, methinks.

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, January 13th, 2008 at 6:26 am

    Fiar

    The appropriate description would be “UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE! You’ll blow a load in your pants funny.”

    Fiar, January 13th, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    Lord Andrew of Goulding

    Congratulations, Lord Likely,

    If I hadn’t just made a copious donation to the Sydney Sperm Bank, I would stand and salute you.

    ADG

    Lord Andrew of Goulding, January 13th, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    nursemyra

    yes… what would you like to know about the polishing service sweetie?

    nursemyra, January 14th, 2008 at 1:14 am

    Olga, the Traveling Bra

    I agree with Lobo – it’s ABOUT TIME you are recognized for your incredible talent! And for your writing too! And if nurse gets tired of polishing your award, I’d be happy to let a little support. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
    xoxoxoxo
    ~Olga

    Olga, the Traveling Bra, January 14th, 2008 at 11:01 am

    Beenzzz

    Hurray on your accomplishment, my dear Lord!!!

    By the way, you are welcome from the tip of my breast sacks. Somehow, that doesn’t sound sexy….

    Beenzzz, January 15th, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    Lord Likely

    Good day!

    Mr. Fiar, I second your sentiment. And third it and fourth it, to boot.

    Lord Goulding, many thanks indeed. I hope after you have replenished your supplies, you shall be able to give the one-gun salute I deserve!

    My dear Nurse, there were some questions, but I have decided to skip over them and go straight on to the polishing, if you would be so kind.

    Olga, thank you very much. At this rate, I shall have the most well-polished award in the entire hemisphere!

    Thank you too, my dear Beenzzz. You had me at ‘breast’.

    My sincerest regards to you all for your support and your kind words. I am quite literally swollen with joy.

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, January 17th, 2008 at 7:25 am

    Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass

    Is there space for more … ehm … swell?

    Congrats, our Lord!

    Sorry we are late. As you know, we’ve been away. Any champaign left? Martinis? Smoothies?

    Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass, January 21st, 2008 at 6:15 am

    Damien Riley

    You have the most original blog I have come across and I don’t mean any sort of gay double meaning there.

    Damien Riley, March 26th, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    Speak Forth to the Lord

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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