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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    24 July 2009

    Lord Likely and the Lost Cat


    Yes, dear readers – it is true. I have lost my prized pet lion, Thundercock.

    The last I saw of him was when he was out playing on the lawn, merrily chasing a door-to-door salesman around the garden, playfully tearing at the man’s clothing with his ferocious claws. Ah, what a loyal pet he is!

    However, a couple of hours later, I went to go and feed him with my man-servant, Botter (by which I mean I accompanied Botter who was performing said task, not that I was feeding the wretch to Thundercock himself, though I have come close on occasion). To my utter shock, horror and dismay,  my poor pet had seemingly vanished into thin air.

    If anyone has seen him, please do leave a comment letting me know where he is, and whether or not he has savaged any dignitaries or paupers (so that I know whether to reprimand him, or praise him).

    Alternatively, send me an electrical letter, or leave me a short missive using my Twittering Device or a note in my Handsome Face Book.

    ‘Tis imperative dear Thundercock is returned to me, lest he falls into…common hands. Heavens! The very notion makes me want to vomit into my own hat.

    Many thanks indeed, ladies and gentle-men.

    – Lord Likely.

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    16 incredible interjections thus far.

    Lady Catherine

    Have you tried the Lion Bar, m’lord? If he is anything like you, that is the first place I’d look. Let’s just hope he’s on the ball so no one asks him about the big paws.

    Lady Catherine, July 24th, 2009 at 10:41 am

    Media Wank

    I thought I had happened upon your beloved Thundercock this very morning until I read the address on the collar. It seems the beast belonged to one Rord Rikery of Tokyo. The search continues I’m afraid…

    Media Wank, July 24th, 2009 at 11:34 am

    Steve Kirkendall

    Sir, I do not know whether or not to take this matter seriously. You always seem to be searching for pussy of some description.

    Steve Kirkendall, July 24th, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    Sir Ploos

    I’m afraid your beloved cat has a new home. Thundercock now prowls the rolling acres of my estate, and he shall not be returned for anything less than a night (or two, if it pleases him) of hot friction with your trusted servant Botter.

    Sir Ploos, July 26th, 2009 at 1:49 pm


    Oh, the poor defenceless little kitty! The poor mite is probably cowering under a bridge, feeding on discarded sand-wiches and homeless people. Come back soon, Thundercock!

    Tiggy, July 27th, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    Lord Andrew of Goulding

    re: Media Wank

    Rord Rikery of Tokyo?

    Is he a real Rord or that pusillanimous pimp from Poon Tang, Roger Rikery, who made his fortune riding on the back (and the front) of so many gullible young women in the land of the rising pork bun?

    Lord Andrew of Goulding, July 27th, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    Hmmmm. I see much has changed since I have been off traveling in the future. My hero is now buggering beasties. I must get back up to speed. But later. Not now

    Anonymous, July 28th, 2009 at 6:02 am


    Actually, that anonymous fellow was me. Odd, this blog thing. In the future, our blogs already know who we are.

    relaxmax, July 28th, 2009 at 6:04 am

    Alex L.

    Of all the lions I’ve seen recently, non of them answered to Thundercock. In fact most of them seemed to answer to ‘AAAARRRGH LION’… which was strange…

    Alex L., July 28th, 2009 at 7:07 am

    Lord Likely

    Good day, all!

    Lady Catherine: ah, yes. I believe many big cats frequent the Lion Bar. I myself visited that establishment myself, and lost terribly at a game of cards There were too many cheetahs, I think.

    Media Wank, what are the chances of there being two lions lost in London, eh? How peculiar!

    Mr. Kirkendall, you should take this matter most seriously, sir! In fact, drop everything and begin the search now! (No, pull your trousers back up…that is not what I meant by ‘drop everything’).

    Sir Ploos, you do not need to hold my beloved pet hostage to receive my man-servant’s hind at your disposal, sir! Half a crown and he is yours for the week!

    Ms Tiggy: I know, my poor, poor pet! I doubt there is even enough meat on the homeless to sustain him, poor thing.

    Lord Andrew: I myself am unfamiliar with this Rord Rikery character. He does sound like a jorry nice chap, though.

    Mr. Max, ah! There you are! And how was the future, dear sir?

    Also, I have not been buggering beasties, you foul deviant. Good heavens!

    Mr. L, how curious that all those lions should share the same name, eh? Very odd.

    Rightio, I am off to see if I can’t find dear Thundercock. Keep looking, chums!

    Many thanks!


    – Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, July 28th, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    Lady Softbreath

    My Enchanting Lord Likely;

    I read with great concern about the loss of your beloved Thundercock. It must be agonizing for you having lost your agile and rather large companion. No man as virile as yourself should ever be without his Thundercock. It pains me to think that you are missing the pleasure that stroking your Thundercock brings you, and I shall endeavor to assist you in locating your pet-worthy partner in any way possible.

    As such, I assure you that I shall scour my personal landscape for any sign that your Thundercock has indeed visited recently. You are no doubt aware that my holdings are ripe with prominent hills, deep valleys and warm caverns in which your Thundercock could seek comfort. I will not rest until I have felt-out each mound, explored every cleft, and delved into each opening personally; I will be thorough and will not cease until I am utterly satisfied.

    Should you wish to join me in my explorations, you are most welcome, my Lord. I suspect that once we reach the southern-most cavern, you shall be reunited with your ferocious Thundercock.

    Ever yours, and longing for the return of Thundercock,
    Lady Softbreath

    Lady Softbreath, August 10th, 2009 at 4:52 am


    Here in the States, we would likely shoot Thundercock on sight, stuff him and put him in the parlor as a conversation piece. I would like a Thundercock trophy to show my lady friends. They’d be so envious that they’d probably go out and hunt down a Thundercock of their own.

    Xtine, March 6th, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    Forsoth, ’tis a shame indeed. You feline pet may ingest homeless people and become sick. May the LORD embrace and protect it.

    Anonymous, January 19th, 2011 at 12:30 pm


    Surprisingly enough when I was wasting time on Failblog, I spotted this

    It seemed quite familiar.

    Jenn, April 27th, 2011 at 6:13 am

    Lord Likely’s Top Fives

    […] Lord Likely and the Lost Cat. 4. Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances. 3. Lord Likely’s General Twattery. 2. Lord […]

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

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