31 May 2007
Lord Likely Is Away
June 1st, 1856

Do not make a mess while I am gone, or I will cut you.
Toodle-pip!
- Lord Likely.
Postscript: While I am gone, why not re-read my past adventures?
The Astonishing Adventures of
Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"
THE TOWN CRIER
31 May 2007
June 1st, 1856

Do not make a mess while I am gone, or I will cut you.
Toodle-pip!
- Lord Likely.
Postscript: While I am gone, why not re-read my past adventures?
8 incredible interjections thus far.
I promise not to make a mess Lord Likely! But do hurry
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I will make an unholy mess out of sheer spite.
Do hurry back Lord Likely before I do damage to your prolific porn collection!!Ah, you’ll not rest now, will you…
The Diabolical Minx.
Does anyone know if Lord Likely left the keys to the liquor cabinet? Or where he keeps his humidor of laudanum soaked cigars?
Quick everybody – to the porn library!
Hate to tell you Scary – I cleared it out days ago. I am now in porn bliss in an establishment which I can not reveal incase of mass looting.
And just where do you think you are going, Lord? I hope you come back soon.
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I’ve only returned a few days ago from vacation to find everything in shambles. What have those readers been up to? Everything you labeled private they simply have strewn about. You’d better hurry back Lord Likely!
On second thought, the damage is done. Might as well forget about it and enjoy your time away.
Perhaps we can go to Richmond Park when you return. We can all have a lovely picnic on the lawn.
OK Now you have been gone far too long, are you bedding some unfortunate guttersnipe and all the while just forgetting about the blog?? What has become of you?
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing
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All funds raised go towards his lordship's drinking fund, with absolutely NO proceeds going to the homeless or any other filthy wastrels
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