Likely's Whore-Box


Praise For Lord Likely

"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."

THE DAILY NEWS SHEET

"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."

THE LONDON LOOKER

"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."

LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER

"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."

THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS

"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"

THE TOWN CRIER

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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    07 February 2008

    Lord Likely Will Be In His Trailer

    In which his lordship interrupts proceedings with a brief commercial interval.


    February, 1857.

    Good day, all!

    We all know how incredible, amazing, dashing, debonair and all-round damned-well astonishing I am, but still there remain people in this wide world who have no idea of how fantastic I truly am.

    With this in mind, I have commissioned this short piece of film below to act as a public service, informing those poor fools who remain unaware of my wondrousness of the fact I am, indeed, completely wondrous.

    I do hope you enjoy watching this most delightful and erotic of moving pictures, and please feel free to stick it on your very own web-log, or share it with friends and families. I am sure the children will love it.

    Those of you who do a particularly sterling job of whoring me around the inter-web, or who do so in a particularly inventive manner, will receive my eternal moist gratitude, and maybe even some sort of a prize, if I can be bothered to arrange anything.

    Now, dim the lights and unzip your trousers: for I now present for your viewing pleasure Lord Likely: The R-Rated Trailer!

    Enjoy!

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    *****

    Next time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: Normal service is resumed, when Likely figures the latest mystery out, and then promptly winds up in mortal danger.

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    Comments

    14 incredible interjections thus far.

    Lord Andrew of Goulding

    Victorian porn with a “marvelous” misspelling. Certainly grabbed my attention!

    ADG

    Lord Andrew of Goulding, February 7th, 2008 at 1:28 pm

    Howard

    Ahaha! Brilliant. You brought me to my knees.

    Again.

    Howard, February 7th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Gorilla Bananas

    This will forever be known as “The shortest film with the longest cock”.

    Gorilla Bananas, February 7th, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    Claire

    I am glad I watched this in the privacy of my bedroom without pants on :)

    Claire, February 7th, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    Lord Likely

    Good day, all!

    Lord Andrew, ha! Yes, I had noticed the misspelling also, but was frankly too damned lazy and/or drunk to change it. I hope it does not mar the enjoyment of an otherwise fine piece of film-making.

    Mr. Howard, while you are on your knees, I do not suppose you could do me a favour?…I seemed to have dropped my keys, you see.

    Mr. Bananas, I believe my movie redefines the term ‘epic movie’.

    My dearest Claire, I have now discarded my own pants at the very thought! Be still, my twitching todger!

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, February 7th, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    theaspiringhorseplayer

    Fantastic work, your lordship! I’d say you gave that struffet a right good thrashing, you did. Yes. Quite.

    theaspiringhorseplayer, February 7th, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    OOM

    Interesting story, though the video can be greatly improved and get some more spice :)

    OOM, February 7th, 2008 at 9:49 pm

    nursemyra

    oh now my appetite is well and truly whetted…..

    nursemyra, February 8th, 2008 at 2:51 am

    Qelqoth

    That was fucking ace as fuck. Rock on.

    Qelqoth, February 8th, 2008 at 5:05 am

    Hungry Ghost

    Lord Likely:

    Lord, Gentleman, Cunt, Movie Star.

    Hungry Ghost, February 8th, 2008 at 11:25 am

    Lord Likely

    Good day, all!

    Mr. Horseplayer, I award you twenty-three points for use of the word ‘struffet’. Good show!

    Oom, I fear if I added any more spice people would pass out with shock and awe.

    My dearest Nurse Myra, I presume my ‘appetite’ you mean ‘mimsy’? Am I correct in this assumption?

    Rev. Qelqoth: fuck yeah.

    Mr. Ghost, quite so. Hollywood, here I cum!

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, February 10th, 2008 at 11:34 am

    the frogster

    I must admit that I had heretofore read LL’s Astonishing Adventures as perhaps enhanced or even, at times, fabricated, but this video evidence does indeed leapfrog LL into my all-time manly men hall of fame, alongside Brett Favre and Jean Luc Picard. Well done, sir!

    the frogster, February 14th, 2008 at 9:25 am

    Julia

    Never had your Lordship been shown to a greater advantage than in this smashing moving picture show.

    Rock on!

    JD at I Do Things

    Julia, February 17th, 2008 at 6:58 am

    Lord Likely

    Thank you both very much indeed.

    I am now ready for my close-up!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, February 24th, 2008 at 6:28 am

    Speak Forth to the Lord

    Further Excellence...

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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