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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    05 March 2008

    Mr. Hardy’s Water-Proof Cock-Hat

    March, 1857.

    A Brief Commercial Interjection.

    - Lord Likely.

    Next Time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: His lordship’s current adventure resumes, when Lord Likely gets incredibly freakish with Jennifer the Incredibly Freakish.

    *****

    Notes, Notices and Notifications.


    A Terribly Important Announcement!
    His lordship has very kindly decided to let all of you join him in The Cock and Balls (his preferred drinking establishment) for light and heavy refreshments, chit-chat and barely-concealed flirting. Do the honourable thing, and visit the Cock and Ball Inn right NOW! Many thanks.

    His lordship would like to take this opportunity to give his hardened, fully-engorged thanks to his loyal readers, for their continued support over the past year. His lordship is truly grateful, and wished that he could penetrate each and every one of you in return. Cheers!

    Welcome! The following web-loggers have had the the enormous honour of being added to his lordship’s link list to-day. So please do welcome along neOnbubble, Sexy Swinging, Much of Muchness, Greeneyezz, eve 101, Karim Pie, Identity Check, Krapsody, Vanessa Aguiunta and Paula. Please, do make yourselves comfortable.

    Lord Likely Joins The Carnival! The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely is one of the many humourous web-logs to partake in The Humor Blog Carnival, currently being hosted by Mr. Kevin over at Pointless Banter. As well as his lordship’s fine work, there are also links to many other excellent web-logs, which you should jolly well visit right now. Hooray!

    The Further Scrawlings of Mr. A.D Fanton:
    Digital Sickbag | The Carrotty Kid
    The Best Bit of the Internet

    Other places of interest:
    The Clay Pigeon

    FuelMyBlog | Blog Catalog | humor-blogs.com

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    Comments

    21 incredible interjections thus far.

    Hungry Ghost

    Does this wonderful invention come in an expandable version for the Magnum Man?

    Hungry Ghost, March 5th, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    Olga, the Traveling Bra

    Is it a one-size-fits all Cock Hat? Not that I need one mind you…just wondering. For a friend.

    Olga, the Traveling Bra, March 5th, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    Gorilla Bananas

    Zounds, m’lud! That cock has big balls!

    Gorilla Bananas, March 5th, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    .45

    My favorite cock hat is a stripper.

    .45, March 5th, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    xDashofPanachex

    does it look like a beanie, with one of those spiny things on top? Or have those not been invented yet?

    xDashofPanachex, March 5th, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    Pseudonymph

    A cock hat? Surprising no-one has thought of it before. In addition, it would cut down on cases of the violent crime of cock robin.

    Pseudonymph, March 5th, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    Natural Woman

    geeze louise…i don’t need to read that book i have anymore.

    Natural Woman, March 5th, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    Greeneyezz

    HA! Dreaded Cock-rot?!

    That made me snort. (In the most lady-like of ways of course) ;) ~~

    And Thank you for such an incredibly Warm Wel-cum, M’Lord!

    ~ZZ

    Greeneyezz, March 5th, 2008 at 7:22 pm

    Diesel

    Brilliant!

    Diesel, March 5th, 2008 at 8:33 pm

    nursemyra

    I’d like to see thae gonad glove please

    nursemyra, March 5th, 2008 at 11:40 pm

    Rory Gord

    M’lord,

    Your writing titillates and institutes fresh growth in the brain, much like a well-need blood letting after a visit to a fine barber. Hath ye the time, one might find amusement at my Chateau as well.

    Honourably,

    Lady Trixen Behd

    Rory Gord, March 6th, 2008 at 6:08 am

    Lord Andrew of Goulding

    I believe that Mr. Hardy’s heirs have just signed a global deal to produce:

    the boner baseball cap (USA)
    the spermy stetson (Texas, USA)
    the ball-sac beret (France)
    the tosser turban (India) &
    the spunk-filled sombrero (Spain)

    ADG

    “If the hat fits, wear it…”

    Lord Andrew of Goulding, March 6th, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    Lord Likely

    Good day, all! And what a lot of you there are to-day! It seems cock hats are far more popular than I might have ever imagined.

    Now, to business:

    Mr. Ghost, I believe the hat comes in all sizes, from ‘Laughably Tiny’ all the way up to ‘Lord Palmerston’.

    My dear Olga, which friend is this? Percival the Travelling Penis?

    Mr. Bananas: thank you for noticing, sir.

    .45, the good thing about a stripper is that they can be worn all-year round, too.

    dashofpanache, welcome! And in answer to your question, no. I fear that would get rather messy.

    Pseudonymph, you may be right, but instances of cock rubbing would be well on the increase.

    Natural Woman, was it a pop-up book, perchance? With particularly lewd pop-ups? I hope so.

    Dear Greeneyezz, the dreaded cock rot is no laughing matter, m’dear! My great grandfather’s cock dropped off due to the cock rot. Or it might have been bitten off by a whore, I cannot quite recall.

    Mr. Diesel, thank you. I trust I can put you down for one of these hats, then?

    Nurse Myra, I will be willing to demonstrate the incredible Gonad Glove, in more…intimate surroundings. Are you game?

    Rory Gord, I welcome you along to my not-so humble abode. I shall endeavour to visit your chateau, provided you lay on plenty of booze. And dancers.

    Lord Andrew, it is good to see that Mr. Hardy’s work continues on! I hear they are currently working on a prototype ‘Fuck-Pole Fez’, for our Arabic cousins.

    Well, I must dash. Places to go, Cock Hats to wear.

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, March 6th, 2008 at 6:40 pm

    nursemyra

    Yes, I’m game :-)

    nursemyra, March 7th, 2008 at 1:10 am

    Spanknsparkle

    Gratuitous groveling at your feet m’lord, for bestowing on me, the honor of being included on your prestigious blog-roll.

    sns xxx

    Spanknsparkle, March 7th, 2008 at 5:23 am

    Canucklehead

    Let you assure you my Lord that my ‘eh’ list would not be complete without you. After all – you are indeed the ultimate ‘eh’-hole!
    Cheers!

    Canucklehead, March 7th, 2008 at 10:52 am

    Lord Likely

    Good day!

    My dearest Nurse Myra – LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

    spanknsparkle, really, you do not have to grovel. But whilst you’re down there…

    Ahem!

    Oh, and many thanks, Mr. Canucklehead. I THINK.

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, March 7th, 2008 at 9:21 pm

    Julia

    Such a cock hat would’ve come in handy at my recent nude buffet. No, there wasn’t any rain, but the hat might’ve at least kept the cock from the butter.

    JD at I Do Things

    Julia, March 8th, 2008 at 5:34 am

    Word Gnome

    Perspicacious presentation, my sesquipedalian so-and-so! Check me out! http://www.wordgnome.com

    Word Gnome, March 8th, 2008 at 6:46 am

    Lord Likely

    Good day!

    Julia, some people actually find that butter on the cock can help things tremendously!

    Word Gnome, why, aren’t you a verbose, vertically-challenged little varmint? Hello!

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, March 8th, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    Mistress Thorne

    I just adore decorating the equipment of my favorite sub. This cock hat would be lovely. Thanks for the story.

    Mistress Thorne, March 30th, 2008 at 9:37 am

    Speak Forth to the Lord

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

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