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    • The Crest of Lord Likely

    08 January 2008

    Self-Help, the Victorian Way.

    Home » archives » random insertions

    January, 1857.

    - Lord Likely

    *****

    Next time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: His lordship clashes with another Victorian rogue, in a special one-off adventure! (We promise it will happen, this time.)

    Attention! There are still two days left to vote for his lordship’s journals as being ‘The Best Blog You’ve Never Heard Of’ over at the Performancing Awards. Make sure that you lend your support, else there shall be thrashings for all!

    Other places of interest:
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    Comments

    15 incredible interjections thus far.

    Beenzzz

    I shall go to my local funeral home in search of this fine self help treasure. Wait! I don’t need this book, I should be administering the punishments for others’ weaknesses. Blast! Now I need to buy a sturdy whip.

    Beenzzz, January 8th, 2008 at 7:09 pm

    nursemyra

    is the good doctor available for locum work?

    he’d go down well at the gimcrack :-)

    nursemyra, January 8th, 2008 at 11:53 pm

    Gorilla Bananas

    I think his principles should replace the outdated Hippocratic oath. I assume that the cold shower is one of his favourite prescriptions.

    Gorilla Bananas, January 9th, 2008 at 12:30 am

    Chris Crocker Esq.

    LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I’M A HUMAN!!!

    Chris Crocker Esq., January 9th, 2008 at 1:31 am

    Nessa

    Is it a thick, heavy book? Can it be used to slap people silly?

    Nessa, January 9th, 2008 at 2:26 am

    Qelqoth

    Lord Likely has received the Anti-Award.

    Qelqoth, January 9th, 2008 at 2:45 am

    Deb

    Thrashings? Oh, my lord.

    Deb, January 9th, 2008 at 7:08 am

    Diesel

    Brilliant. And congratulations! I’m votting for you as we speak.

    Diesel, January 9th, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    Howard

    Is the doctor a good friend of M’Lord’s? If I vote, may I still have a thrashing?

    Howard, January 9th, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    *~*Lara*~*

    :)

    *~*Lara*~*, January 9th, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    John Cow

    And thats another unlikely vote for thee to conquer the performancing awards.

    John Cow, January 9th, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    Lord Likely

    Good day one, all and everyone!

    My dear Beenzzz, the thought of you and a sturdy whip leaves me frothing at the mouth. And penis.

    My delectable Nurse Myra, I believe he is available for such travails, although I do not know whether he can spare the considerable time he would need to sort out your patients!

    Mr. Bananas, I think Dr. Spittle might favour the golden shower, myself.

    Mr. Crocker, are you absolutely sure about that? It might be worth double checking.

    Dame Nessa, I believe not only could the tome in question slap someone silly, but it could also put them completely out of their misery!

    Sir Qelqoth, I am very much grateful for your generous award, which I have displayed proudly on my side-bar. Many thanks indeed!

    Dear Deb, I do hope the thought of some sound thrashings have not caused you undue distress, or forced you to faint into a swoon. I am right out of smelling salts, you see.

    Lord Diesel, many thank yous to you! With you firmly behind me, I cannot fail!

    Sir Howard, I have met the good doctor on many occasion, at social gatherings. Of course, I have never felt the need to visit him as a patient, as I am strong and healthy, and not a simpering sap. Also, yes: yes you may have a sound thrashing. I must keep my thrashing arm in good, working order.

    My dear Lara, I would respond in kind, but I am not sure how to represent my handsome, rugged features using nothing more than grammatical characters. Although I can do a miniature version of my todger: :-

    Mr. Cow, sir, many thanks to you as well! Would you like some grass as a reward?

    Many fully-engorged thans to all of you who have supported my lordly self in the recent bout of awards. I would ravage each and everyone of you, if I had the time.

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, January 10th, 2008 at 7:55 am

    Andrew Goulding Articles

    I shall never forget the good Dr. Spittle’s advice to me upon the death of my lovely wife, Dementia.
    He said:

    “Well, at least you now have a bloody good excuse!”

    “For what?” I asked, one-handedly.

    “For being a complete wanker, of course!”

    I stopped pummeling my doo-dah for a moment and with a grave but encouraging nod from Dr. Spittle, recommenced…and have never thought to stop.

    Lord Andrew of Goulding

    Andrew Goulding Articles, January 10th, 2008 at 1:28 pm

    Chris C

    no chapter on a good moustache to go with the stiff upper lip? I’m disappointed.

    Chris C, January 10th, 2008 at 4:26 pm

    Lord Likely

    Good day!

    Mr. Goulding, I am glad Dr. Spittle helped you to get your head in order. Which head, I shall not say.

    Mr. Christopher C, I think the moustache is a given. I mean, what kind of a man does not even have a moustache? The sort of bounder who parades around with a naked top lip is probably beyond help, quite frankly.

    Toodle-pip!

    - Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, January 10th, 2008 at 7:37 pm

    Speak Forth to the Lord

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