Likely's Whore-Box

Praise For Lord Likely

"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."


"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."


"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."


"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."


"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"


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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    13 July 2009

    Telephonic Mischief: An Astonishing Audio Adventure


    TO-DAY, dear readers, I have prepared something of a special treat for you all, one that I hope you shall find as garment-drenchingly wonderful as I do.

    For you see, not only do you get to READ my wondrous words on this occasion, but you shall also get to HEAR them as well.

    Yes, dear readers – to-day I shall be coming in your ears.

    With the help of a rather skilled chap called Mr. Woodford, and using the very latest in phonographic recording techniques, we have assembled a rather spectacular audio production, chronicling my involvement in one of the most important developments of the Victorian age –  the creation of Mr. Alexander Graham Bell’s much celebrated telephonic communication device.

    Ladies and gentle-men, prepare your listening-pipes for an almighty ear-gasm, as I proudly present the astonishing audio adventure, ‘Telephonic Mischief’.

    Do please enjoy.


    UPDATE! ‘Telephonic Mischief’ is now available to download from Mr. Apple’s iTunes store (whatever that is). Simply click the button below, and you shall be able to download my astonishing audio adventure to your personal music-playing device, and have me accompany you wherever you be! HUZZAH!

    Mr. A.D. Fanton - The Astonishing Audio Adventures of Lord Likely - The Astonishing Audio Adventures of Lord Likely

    – Lord Likely.

    Telephonic Mischief was performed by Mr. A.D Fanton and Mr. A.M.P Woodford, from a script by Mr. Fanton, based on events recounted to him by Lord Likely (Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-Man of Action). The music, sound effects and production were all provided by Mr. Woodford. Biscuits courtesy of Mr. McVite.

    Further Astonishing Audio Adventures shall be forthcoming…

    Subscribe in a reader


    17 incredible interjections thus far.

    Lady Catherine

    Good gracious me. I shall never wash my ears again.

    (I trust you were twirling that lustrous moustache as you chortled so.)

    Lady Catherine, July 13th, 2009 at 11:06 am

    Steve Kirkendall

    Sir, I believe it was not long after this event that Mr Alexander Graham Bell changed his telephonic numerical address system. Apparently, people would enquire if his number was one and they would then snigger and say that their cousin was one too.

    Steve Kirkendall, July 13th, 2009 at 11:49 am


    Heavens above! I have come over all unnecessary. I have just had my first eargasm….

    Diane, July 13th, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Remarkable, my lord. It would certainly seem that you had his number!

    Anonymous, July 13th, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    Alex L.

    Wonderful… I think my grandfather clock might be running aswell.

    Alex L., July 14th, 2009 at 6:14 am

    James Humphreys

    Good Lord! I do hope the mystery caller finally made his acquaintance with Fanny Crabs. If not I trust Lord Likely reported the incident to his local constabulary.

    James Humphreys, July 14th, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    Lord Andrew of Goulding

    Lord Likely’s laugh sounded peculiarly like Dr. Evil’s. Hmmm.

    Lord Andrew of Goulding, July 14th, 2009 at 11:49 pm


    Great site man. I was wondering if we could possible exchange links. Let me know what you think about my humor blog.


    Jason, July 15th, 2009 at 5:49 am


    I daresay that this phrase, ‘hilarious headlines’ does not mean what Jason seems to think it means. Uncalled for insults aside, I daresay that hearing your voice has made a substantial deposit to my spank bank account – and for that I thank you heartily dear sir.

    Canucklehead, July 15th, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    Lord Likely

    Good day, chums!

    Lady Catherine, as much as I understand your sentiment, I would ask you to wash your ears. I would hate to get my tongue dirty.

    Mr. Kirkendall, indeed, I believe he may have changed his number to the number two. Nothing funny about that, eh?

    Lady Diane, I hope it was good for you, m’dear!

    Anonymous, indeed I did! Mind you, I had to wait a long time before I could complete my jape! Ruddy inventors.

    Mr. L, your grandfather clock is running? Don’t you think you should scoop it up then? Ha-HA!

    Mr. Humphreys, why, how marvellous to see you here, sir! And do not fear – wherever there is Fanny to be found, I shall be there!

    Lord Andrew, whoever this Dr. Evil is, I would say it is almost certain that he stole his laugh from me, sir!

    Mr. Jason, thank you sir! I may be looking to extend my link-o-list in the future, you just never know!

    Mr. Canucklehead, I hope you left a hefty deposit, sir.

    Toodle-pip, all!

    – Lord Likely

    Lord Likely, July 17th, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    Lady Ames

    Well, it looks like the butler is tinkering with your recording. It says “File not Found.”

    Lady Ames, July 17th, 2009 at 5:07 pm


    This is a funny site you have going on here man. Just wanted to stop by and tell you how I felt. I was wondering if you could take a look at my humor blog and maybe we can exchange links.

    Let me know.


    Jason, July 18th, 2009 at 12:43 am

    Media Wank

    This is funnier than that lump I found on my left testicle this morning. And twice as life-changing!

    Media Wank, July 19th, 2009 at 6:55 pm


    I had no idea Mr Bell was such a pansy

    nursemyra, July 19th, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    Lord Likely

    Good day, all!

    Lady Ames, oh my – really? Did some bounder run off with my precious file? At any rate, the cad seems to have returned it, so you should be able to enjoy my excellent ejaculations!

    Mr. Jason, I did let you know – a couple of comments above, see? Tsk.

    Media Wank, are you sure the lump was not actually your entire testicle, sir?

    Nurse Myra: I know, I know. He is a massive Bell-end.


    – Lord Likely.

    Lord Likely, July 20th, 2009 at 6:34 pm


    haha! That was AWESOME!!!

    Can it be worked out that I’m Double-L’s first telemarketer???

    LOBO, July 24th, 2009 at 9:24 am


    Oh do you know, I am grinning from ear to ear my lord. I love your voice! Absolutely Wonderful! You have so much fun. 😀 August 6, 2009 My Birthday is next Thursday 13th.

    Theresa111, August 6th, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    Speak Forth to the Lord

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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