16 May 2008
The Cockney Slapper
If ever I’m asked to name my favourite periodical – and it hasn’t happened yet but one never gives up hope – then I shall leap to my feet and proclaim clearly and with great pride that I never go anywhere without a rolled up edition of The Cockney Slapper tucked down the front of my breeches.
Its compact form protects one’s ever-so-valuables from errant bullets or personal knife attacks from vagrant children and it also harbours a veritable cornucopia of titbits of news and information which no discerning gentleman should be without.
When I’m in need of the most up-to-date ruminations on Her Majesty’s Imperial thrusts in the Indian subcontinent then it’s to The Cockney Slapper that I turn.
Or when I want to tax my cognitive prowess with one of those imaginative Crossed Words examinations of personal knowledge then The Cockney Slapper comes to the rescue once more as each issue contains nine such mental tests ranging in complexity from Chimney Sweep right up to Cambridge Graduate. I so very much enjoy giving a fresh Chimney Sweep a rigorous going over.
But without a doubt my favourite page of the periodical is the Sad Singletons section. Perusing personal adverts from the perennially paired-up-deficient both saddens me deep within even as it causes my entire body to convulse with laughter. Such a combination of emotions I find to be as addictive as opium and almost one third the price. Behold:
And The Cockney Slapper, correctly rolled and stuffed, also simulates an engorged male member most convincingly.
To-day’s guest post comes courtesy of Mr. Mark Hooper, from the chuckle-inducing website neOnbubble.
His lordship would like to extend not only his sincere thanks to Mr. Hooper for his fine work, but he would also like to extend his penis towards him in the hope he may touch it, such is the excellence of the post in question. Jolly good show!
If you should like to pen a guest article for The Astonishing Adventures in his lordship’s absence, then please do send an electronic mail to lord likely at gmail dot com, and let us know what you would like to toss off for us.
Yourself Whilst His Lordship is Absent: Lord Likely’s Terrific Teaser Trailer – see his lordship in action!
Digital Sickbag – see what my useless scribe and co-writer is up to, if you care.
The Carrotty Kid Animated Adventure; as written and created by Mr. A.D Fanton
The Carrotty Kid- something is growing…
gaup: celebrity gossip with a twist. Other places of interest:
Popmash The Clay Pigeon