05 August 2008
The Golden Cock Spurts Forth Once More
Having finally reclaimed my lordly estate, and then relaunched my glorious journals upon an adoring and lust-stricken crowd, I now feel I should finally celebrate my proper return to my diary-writing. And when I feel the urge to celebrate, I cannot help but whip my cock out.
Steady yourselves, my dear readers, for I am not referring to my actual appendage in this instance. Instead, I am referring to my much-desired and (very) warmly-received award, The Golden Cock of Excellence.
The Golden Cock of Excellence (or ‘The Golden Cock of Excellence’, for short – I do not care much for abbreviations and acronyms) was created by my wondrous brain-matter last year, as a way to reward my loyal readers, commentators and indeed anyone who had displayed some sort of love (with or without utensils) towards myself or my journals.
Since its introduction, the Golden Cock has become an extremely sought-after award, overshadowing much inferior trinkets such as The Victoria Cross and the Knighthood. This comes as no surprise, of course, as not only is my award much more handsome than any other, but it can also be slipped into any orifice for added pleasure, a feat which cannot be replicated by the Victoria Cross without shredding one’s intimate ares to shreds.
Anyhow, you may discover the inspiration for this fine, upstanding award, and behold a list of previous recipients by reading this article, or this article.
And so, with the history firmly behind us, we must thrust onwards and upwards, and move on to the latest round of awards, and pass out the finely-crafted phallus to the latest lucky winners.
Lord Mark Hooper of neOnbubble: For providing his lordship with a sterling guest-post earlier this year, and for being a jolly good egg all round, despite living in that skank-infested arse-pit that is Portsmouth.
Sir Renal of Failure: for being a long-standing and loyal supporter of his lordship, and one whom I believe I do not thank enough. A thousand, throbbing thank yous indeed!
Lord Max de Relax, lord of British Speak: for his sterling work in attempting to bring together Great Britain and the Quite Good United States of America, his fine guest-writings and for running an excellent little pub called The Slap and Tickle. Bravo!
Lady Green of Eyezz: for her loyal patronage of my Cock and Balls, despite it being virtually deserted and overrun with tumbleweeds. I salute you, m’dear!
Dame Ettarose from The Edge of Sanity: another regular, ravishing reader, who often takes the time to comment upon my wondrous journals. I raise my glass and drop my trousers in your honour, my dear!
Sir Canucklehead: just as his fellow Canadian countrymen remain loyal to the Queen, Sir Canucklehead remains loyal to his lordship, a fact which has not gone unnoticed. Jolly good work, eh?
Lord Alex of L: like my bowel’s functions after a mid-afternoon snack of prunes and a few glasses of prune juice, Mr L is very regular. For his frequent contributions and musings, he easily earns himself my massive, engorged gratitude.
Lady Linda de Mouseski: for frequently dropping by to fraternise with my glorious self, and for providing me with many hearty chuckles which have served to lighten up the dreariest of days. ‘Tis much appreciated indeed.
Sir Don Lewis, CEO of DONCO: this enterprising colonial never fails to make joyful sounds emit from my noble cake-hole, that and his tireless devotion to my Empire makes Sir Lewis a worthy winner of my glittering cock-end.
Lady Diane Aldred: supremely creative English rose Diane has been a regular reader of my wondrous journals, and for that she deserves honouring. Plus, with any luck the receipt of said award will endear her to me, and we shall wind up entwined in a passionate embrace, possibly whilst nude.
Lord Dead of Rooster: As well as having the good sense to promote my fine journals on his own web-log, Mr. Rooster is also a very funny chap indeed, and so for his services to my laughter-glands I dub him Lord Rooster (deceased).
Sir Static of Krapsody: another most amusing writer, and another who has remained loyal to me through the grotesquely thick and the skeletal thin. Well done indeed, sir!
And finally a special mention for pseudonymph, who whilst not having any web-log of her own to whore upon my journals, is one of my staunchest and sweetest of supporters. I am in awe, m’dear! My Cock is all yours!
Whew! And there, dear friends, we have it. Thirteen more proud recipients of my proud award. All to-day’s winners are free to save the image for themselves, and upload it to their web-log, or print it out and affix it to their loins – whatever takes your fancy.
If you have been left out of the proceedings this time, do not fear. I do not hate you or anything, and I am sure the time will come when the Golden Cock shall rise again.
Toodle-pip!
- Lord Likely.
humor-blogs.com once won a Golden Cock, which perfectly compliments their Silver Anus.
Next Time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: From Bard to Verse!
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