24 December 2008
The Likely Before Christmas
The following verse was composed by a young, brothel-owning woman, by the name of Ms. Elizabeth Stuffings, who had the pleasure of meeting my lordly self this Christmas Eve. The experience was so incredibly erotic and astonishing, that Ms. Stuffings was compelled to write about it almost immediately. Do please enjoy.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
When all of a sudden through the chimney did fall,
A figure who cried, ‘Ow! I’ve twisted a ball!’
By the sudden torrent of curses so blue,
I knew ’twas not St. Nicolas sat in my flue.
Then, in the moonlight I glimpsed ever so slightly,
The handsome face of the Lord they call Likely.
“‘Tis you!” I whispered as I pulled on my nightie,
“I’ve heard talk of you and your organ so mighty!
But prey, good sir, may I ask before you leave,
What brings you to my whore-house on this Christmas Eve?”
He said, “I came here because I feel for your plight,
Forced upon gentlemen, night after night.
I wish to donate, a gesture of charity,
By which I mean cock,” he added for clarity.
At the sound of that word, the doors flew open wide,
And dozens of ladies came pouring inside.
They wanted his lordship to give generously,
And he wanted to oblige immediately.
In a flash all disrobed and stood naked and bare,
‘Twas freezingly cold but no-one seemed to care.
All eyes fell on Likely, nude as the day he was born,
And in particular his magnificent horn.
“Come Donna! Come, Debbie! Come, Karen and Kerry!
On, Sarah! On, Sandra! On Tina and Terri!
On the top of the table! Up by the wall!
Now hump away! Hump away! Hump away all!”
The girls all swarmed forwards like big-titted bees,
Some draped themselves on him, some fell to their knees,
Before long there was thrusting and grinding galore,
Not an inch was wasted by one single whore.
His eyes how they twinkled! His ball-sack how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And his penis gushed forth with marvellous man-snow.
As their bodies writhed in sexual ecstasy
His lordship looked up and then beckoned to me.
“Come, my dear,” he said. “‘Tis the season of giving,
Now drop your knickers and start bally well living!”
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
He pulled off my stockings, and turned with a jerk.
Then, laying his finger aside of his nose,
He took up his rod, and up my chimney he rose!
He pumped me quite roughly but I did not mind,
A better Christmas present one could not hope to find,
Then I heard him exclaim, with orgasmic delight,
“Happy Christmas all, and to all a ruddy good-night!”
- Lord Likely.
Next Time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: Lord Likely’s Incredible Inter-Active Adventure Resumes, Wherein His Lordship Is On The Trail Of A Villainous Bootblack!
The previous chapter may be read here, where you may also still cast your vote determining his lordship’s next course of action!
Many thanks to dear Olga, The Traveling Bra, for my marvellous festive portrait. Truly, I look most seasonal indeed – and as incredibly handsome as ever, of course. Huzzah and hurrah!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year To You All!
