09 May 2009
The Mysterious Mystery of the Missing Mystery
BLOODY big, bulging, buggering ball-sacks.
It appears that since transcribing the last chapter of my current astonishing adventure – The Puzzling Pearl Necklace Puzzle – I have somehow misplaced my journal (pictured above), inside of which were all the notes for the forthcoming chapters of this incredible tale.
Big, steaming piles of elephantine effluence.
Of course, my memory has been well and truly water-logged thanks to my consumption of a near-Herculean quantity of alcohol, so without the journal at hand I cannot accurately convey the astonishing adventure at hand – hence the three-week lull you have all had to experience. You poor, Likely-deprived people. It must have been ruddy hell for you all.
I have been trying to think where I might have left my journal, and so far I have only managed to come up with these possibilities:
i) I left it in a lady’s bed-chamber (highly probable).
ii) I used it to beat a vagrant about the head, and left it embedded in his skull.
iii) A thieving no-good stole it.
iv) It has been confiscated by government agents, on the basis that the levels of brilliance contained within may prove too much for the public to handle.
v) My man-servant, Botter, mistakenly threw it away in a moment of all-too typical thick-headedness.
vi) I left it in a lady (less probable).
Other than those possibilities, I have drawn a blank, despite my tireless, never-ending efforts to relocate my prized journal, as evidenced by the illustration below:
(Illustration skillfully and sexily drawn by Mr. Sheldon Goodman. Further examples of his excellent artistry may be found by going hither.)
So, despite my best attempts to thrash out some clues as to my journal’s whereabouts, I really just do not know where it might be. Yes, for once, I – Lord Likely, Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-Man of Action – am completely and utterly bamboozled. I know – ’tis shocking, is it not?
For that very reason, I have decided to turn to YOU – my loyal readers and fantastic followers – to help me locate this critically important book!
If any of you have any suggestions as to where my journal may be, or if you think you have seen it, or have pictorial evidence of it’s current whereabouts, then please do let me know. Either leave a comment below, or send an electronic missive to: hislordship@lordlikely.com
The person who’s suggestion either leads me to recover my journal, or the one which I declare to be the most imaginative/witty/arousing of all, will win an actual PRIZE – your very own brand-new journal, into which you can chronicle your own astonishing adventures!
As if that was not thrilling enough, I shall also personally sign the journal with my own noble hand, thus making the prize completely unique, totally invaluable and utterly priceless!
So hurry, my friends – help me track down my journal, lest the world be denied further astonishing adventures!
The future of humanity’s very well-being lies in YOUR hands!
Yours wonderfully,
- Lord Likely.
