Likely's Whore-Box


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    • The Crest of Lord Likely

    The Peculiar Prostitute Predicament

    Recovery

    Monday, March 5th, 2007

    Some when in March, 1856 When I finally regained consciousness, I was disappointed to find that I was not in Heaven, with half-naked angels attending to my every sordid whim, but was in fact in a dimly-lit room having my brow mopped by Botter. “Your lordship, you’re awake!” “Yes, it would appear so, Botter. Either [...]

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    An Awful Nightmare of Astounding Awfulness

    Sunday, March 4th, 2007

    March 4th 1856, possibly. As the dark, black shroud of unconsciousness enveloped me, feint images began to swirl around in my head as I began to dream. I say dream, but the pictures I saw were positively nightmarish. I saw glimpses of a far-off future, so horrifying….so terrifying that it made me shudder to imagine [...]

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    Rough Riders

    Saturday, March 3rd, 2007

    March 3rd 1856 So, there we were, riding across the country, me and two commoners who collectively were emitting more foul stenches than the sewer-works on a hot, hot day. I had to spend most of the journey hanging out of the carriage window, gasping for fresh air. Even though my two companions were on [...]

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    Beggars Can Be Choosers

    Thursday, March 1st, 2007

    2nd March 1856 (or thereabouts) Now, where was I? Ah, yes, heading to London Town to track down my would-be assassin. Well, having gathered our senses after our drunken debacle, Botter and I recommenced our journey. However, after a few hours of aimless wandering, we soon came to the inevitable conclusion that we were lost. [...]

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    Horses

    Wednesday, February 28th, 2007

    March 1st 1856 I know what you’re probably thinking at this point: how many horses do I own, and what are they called? Well, dear reader, I shall tell you. I own five horses, and they are named as follows: Sir Cloppington – my favourite horse, a proud, black stallion with hundreds of miles on [...]

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    Destination: ADVENTURE!

    Monday, February 26th, 2007

    February 27th 1856 (elevenses) “Buckingham Palace?” exclaimed Botter, upon hearing me reveal the location of my latest stalker’s return address. I sighed, as I am partial to doing when in the company of such low-level intelligence. “Buckingham PLACE, Botter, you cloth-eared miscreant.” “You what, your lordship?” I rolled my eyes, and then clouted Botter with [...]

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    The Mystery of the Missive

    Sunday, February 25th, 2007

    February 26th, 1856 Receiving death-threats is nothing new to me. Living in a state of sheer, unbridled luxury and hedonism as I do, I am prone to angry missives fired off from those less fortunate than I, on an alarmingly regular basis. These range from passionately detailed essays written by seething socialists, to hastily-scrawled notes [...]

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    Adventure Arrives in an Envelope

    Sunday, February 25th, 2007

    February 25th 1856 (morning-time) It began a day like any other, with me having my genitals washed by my faithful man-servant Botter, who due to his unfortunate accident yesterday, had to perform the task one-handed. My morning abolutions were interrupted, however, by the chimes of my front-door bell, informing me that the morning’s post had [...]

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    An Amusing Incident

    Sunday, February 25th, 2007

    February 24th, of the year of our Lord 1856 Being a hard-working member of the aristocracy is tiresome fare indeed. When not deciding which hat to wear, or attending private functions, or stabbing a beggar, there’s countless other tasks which all vie for my finite attention. It can leave one quiet worn out. Fortuitously, I [...]

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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