Likely's Whore-Box


Praise For Lord Likely

"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."

THE DAILY NEWS SHEET

"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."

THE LONDON LOOKER

"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."

LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER

"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."

THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS

"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"

THE TOWN CRIER

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  • The Crest of Lord Likely
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    Donate to Likely

    URGH. BEGGARS.  Just look at them, the vile, piss-ridden sacks of excrement. Just glancing at their grimy, filth-caked faces is enough to make me want to gouge out my eyeballs, then eat my eyeballs and then vomit them out again.

    You would certainly not catch I, Lord Likely, doing something so wretched as begging…which is why I have coerced the filth-caked fiends above to do it on my behalf.

    Yes, dear readers, sometimes even a obscenely wealthy aristocrat such as myself needs a little financial aid now and again, I am afraid to report.

    I originally commenced these journals with the aim of spreading word of my Astonishing Adventures far and wide across the Empire, making the world an entirely more incredible and handsome place to live, in the process. And for that, all I asked was that you took me to your collective bosoms, and adored me – not a single farthing was required in return!

    However, as my own empire has grown, so have the expenses required to facilitate the delivery of my adventures into your eager eye-holes. Along with the various costs incurred in maintaining these wondrous journals, there is also the matter of keeping my scribe (the eminently unemployable Mr. A.D. Fanton) alive for long enough to do his work in transcribing my exploits from my diaries to this very inter-net-web-space. Furthermore, my continued popularity has meant that I require MORE web-space to house these journals, as the current provider cannot HANDLE my MIGHTY ORGAN. And, on top of all that, there is the rising cost of booze and whores to factor into consideration as well. It truly never ends!

    So that is why I turn to you, my dear readers, in the hope that you may be able to assist in this matter. I ask not for your fortunes (unless you are particularly wealthy), just the odd shilling or shiny guinea here and there, to help us keep delivering these Astonishing Adventures to your thrill-starved lives.

    Of course, I do not expect you to empty your wallets or hand-purses for no recompense, which is why I have set up an EXCLUSIVE members-only club for those generous souls who donate.

    * Folks who donate up to £20 shall receive an electrical letter inviting you to my Member’s Club, along with a top-secret password to allow you entry. Once in, you shall be privy to never-before-seen wonders, created solely for you vivacious VIPS!

    * Folks donating betwixt £20-£35 shall also receive entry to the above club, AND be fore’er immortalised in one of my Astonishing Adventures, by having a character named after them in a forthcoming tale! Oh, my!

    * Folks donating above £35 shall receive both the above, as well as receiving a piece of EXCLUSIVE, signed artwork bearing my handsome face, by Mr. Fanton.

    * And anyone generous enough to donate £50 or more shall receive everything thus far, along with a Likely ‘Grope’ poster from my store, HITHER. Huzzah!

    Above all else, you shall ALL receive my deepest, warmest thanks for your wondrous support!

    So, if you can help, please click ‘pon the PayChum button below, and not only will you be keeping the world’s finest webbed-site running, but you shall also be doing yourself a favour in gaining further exhilarating escapades, and lashings more Likely! Everybody wins! HUZZAH!

    Many thanks indeed, chums!

    - Lord Likely.

    Comments

    8 incredible interjections thus far.

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    Amanda

    Good god man, pull yourself together.

    Now you are a beggar AND a whore, I’m going to have to beat you with MY cane. I’m sure you will find it most stimulating.

    Amanda, March 9th, 2010 at 5:49 pm

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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