The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

The Astonishing Anger of Lord Likely

Saturday, March 29th, 2008

or Lord Likely is One: The Final Chapter.
March, 1857.
Having been left a homeless wretch, caked in vomit and piss and with my natural sense of style and grace rent asunder, I was naturally more than a little displeased with those vagrant swines who had placed me in such a position.
In fact, it would not [...]

Tags: beer, beggars, botter, cane, drunk, fight, finale, Kenneth the Hat, Lord Likely, party, piss

Posted in Likely Is One | 11 Comments »

Lord Likely is One: Part The Second

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

February 24th, 1857.
There are few things more horrifying, more terrible, more downright cataclysmic than running out of alcohol.
The awfulness of this situation is multiplied by a factor of a million when one is supposed to be holding a magnificent ball to celebrate the one-year anniversary of one’s journals, as I had proposed. Immediate action was [...]

Tags: alcohol, anniversary, beggars, booze, botter, disgusting, Lord Likely, Mr. Timothy Tipsy, one year, party, paupers, shelves, vile

Posted in Likely Is One | 13 Comments »

A Very Likely Christmas

Friday, December 21st, 2007

Presenting a special double-length festive adventure, in one giant, throbbing part.

December, 1856.
It was Christmas Eve, and I was in London Town, doing some last-minute Christmas shopping, for myself, of course. I had thus far treated myself to a solid-gold moustache comb, five bottles of whisky and a particularly pornographic pamphlet entitled ‘Shoeless Hussies’. All [...]

Tags: beggars, botter, Christmas, ejaculate, Ghost of Christmas Past, intercourse, Likely Estate, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, spirit, urine

Posted in Random Insertions | 16 Comments »

A Horrifying Tale of Horror

Thursday, November 1st, 2007

October 31st, 1856.
Hallowe’en.
Upon returning to the Likely Estate after my long, arduous, but nonetheless astonishing American Adventure, I was annoyed to find that there was scant food in the house, and the food which we did have had long since expired and gone off. Worse still, squirrels had somehow gotten into my lovely new Porn [...]

Tags: beggars, botter, cane, Gary, halloween, horror, Likely Estate, Lord Likely, miracle, paupers, terror, vomit

Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »

Things I Have Stabbed, Part Two

Thursday, March 22nd, 2007

22nd March 1856
More things I have stabbed with my trusty fencing sword, over the years…
A Grizzly Bear: When a Chinese Circus (bearing the slogan ‘Where Animals Are Beaten For Your Pleasure!’) came to town, I was reluctantly dragged along to witness the awful spectacle by a friend of mine, Lord John Ratzenberger, who loved circuses [...]

Tags: bear-fight, beggars, botter, stabbing, swords

Posted in Random Insertions | 2 Comments »

Beggars Can Be Choosers

Thursday, March 1st, 2007

2nd March 1856 (or thereabouts)
Now, where was I?
Ah, yes, heading to London Town to track down my would-be assassin.
Well, having gathered our senses after our drunken debacle, Botter and I recommenced our journey. However, after a few hours of aimless wandering, we soon came to the inevitable conclusion that we were lost.
“We are lost, Botter”, [...]

Tags: Albert Spunkleford, beggars, foul stenches, urine

Posted in The Peculiar Prostitute Predicament | No Comments »

Introducing Lord Likely, Aristocratic Adventurer.

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

Welcome, dear reader, to my incredible and, quite frankly, powerfully erotic journals.
If this is your first visit here, then where in the name of dickery have you been? You’ve missed a hell of a lot of astonishing adventures, let me tell you. But it’s alright. I forgive you. We all have to start somewhere, I [...]

Tags: beating botter stick, beggars, botter, fantastic, fencing, Inspector Spunkleford, intercourse, Likely Estate, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, Queen Victoria, whisky

Posted in Random Insertions | 5 Comments »