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"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."

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"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."

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"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."

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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    Posts Tagged ‘drunk’

    One Score and Four, Hour Something: Likely’s Lost Hours

    Friday, January 29th, 2010

    HOUR…SOMETHING OR OTHER! And Likely learns what happened to his lost time…

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    Posted in One Score and Four | 1 Comment »

    Incredible Illustrated Indiscretions: A Warning

    Thursday, November 13th, 2008

    November 14th, 1857.
    Good day, all!
    Apologies for the tardiness in updating my fantastic journals this week, but after I completed my two-hundredth entry last week, I celebrated long and hard, and hard and long. Indeed, the hangover only vanished two hours ago, when I found myself naked in a field, getting my face licked by a [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 11 Comments »

    Lord Likely Version Two Point OH!

    Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

    July 30th, 1857.
    Good day, dear readers!
    Behold a bold new era for my (frankly incredible) journals, as Mr. Isambard Kingdom Brunel has just completed his renovation of my diaries, resulting in the cock-stiffening, mimsy-moistening new look you are currently witnessing before your doubtlessly stunned eyeballs.
    Mr. Brunel did take a day longer than I had hoped, but [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »

    Tunneling Into the Past

    Tuesday, July 8th, 2008

    20th June, 1857.
    Hmmm, now where was I?
    Ah yes. I had apparently lost my home and my entire estate to a couple of swarthy Italians in a drunken wager, and my man-servant and I were now attempting to sneak our way back into the Likely Estate via a secret tunnel, when all of a sudden something [...]

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    Posted in Disaster At The Likely Estate | 15 Comments »

    The Italian Stallion

    Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

    June 20th, 1857.
    I was in some exceptionally deep excrement.
    Was it really at all possible that I had gambled away the ownership of my entire Estate whilst off my Lordly tits on booze in Italy? Could I really have been that inebriated? Or were the two Italian miscreants currently taking up residence in my house talking [...]

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    Posted in Disaster At The Likely Estate | 16 Comments »

    Interval: Lord Likely Slays the Dragon

    Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

    April the Twenty-Third, 1857 – St. George’s Day.
    Today is St. George’s Day, a day where loyal Englishmen up and down the land and throughout the Empire join together and do…well, nothing, really. Absolutely ruddy nothing.
    St. George’s Day is often forgotten by my fellow Englishmen, who seem to prefer to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day instead, usually [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 13 Comments »

    Lord Likely and the Yes Man

    Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

    April, 1857.
    “I shall take the case!” I exclaimed excitedly. “I shall go to Rydeham-Harde House, and I shall investigate the brutal murder of that poor, unfortunate maid!”
    “That is just as well, Likely,” said Inspector Spunkleford. “After all, we are at Rydeham-Harde House now.”
    “What?” said I. It was at this point that I noticed that I [...]

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    Posted in The Beast With Two Backs | 10 Comments »

    The Astonishing Anger of Lord Likely

    Saturday, March 29th, 2008

    or Lord Likely is One: The Final Chapter.
    March, 1857.
    Having been left a homeless wretch, caked in vomit and piss and with my natural sense of style and grace rent asunder, I was naturally more than a little displeased with those vagrant swines who had placed me in such a position.
    In fact, it would not [...]

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    Posted in Likely Is One | 11 Comments »

    Hard Times

    Sunday, March 16th, 2008

    or Lord Likely is One, chapter number six.
    Date unknown, 1857.
    I awoke with the most awful of headaches.
    I am no stranger to hangovers, of course. My hedonistic lifestyle dictates that I often wake up with a fierce, pounding headache and with little or no recollection of the previous twenty-four hours. Indeed, the entire of the 1830s [...]

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    Posted in Likely Is One | 18 Comments »

    A Nice Foamy Head

    Thursday, March 13th, 2008

    or Lord Likely is One, Chapter Number Five.
    Having pumped the incredibly freakish Jennifer, the Incredibly Freakish, and filled her with so much of my man-cream that she was nothing more than a walking, human éclair, I decided that it was high-time for a little light refreshment.
    I headed back to the scrap-yard, where I found my [...]

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    Posted in Likely Is One | 17 Comments »

    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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