Likely's Whore-Box


Praise For Lord Likely

"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."

THE DAILY NEWS SHEET

"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."

THE LONDON LOOKER

"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."

LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER

"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."

THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS

"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"

THE TOWN CRIER

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    • The Crest of Lord Likely

    Posts Tagged ‘drunk’

    Interval: Lord Likely Slays the Dragon

    Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

    April the Twenty-Third, 1857 – St. George’s Day. Today is St. George’s Day, a day where loyal Englishmen up and down the land and throughout the Empire join together and do…well, nothing, really. Absolutely ruddy nothing. St. George’s Day is often forgotten by my fellow Englishmen, who seem to prefer to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 13 Comments »

    Lord Likely and the Yes Man

    Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

    April, 1857. “I shall take the case!” I exclaimed excitedly. “I shall go to Rydeham-Harde House, and I shall investigate the brutal murder of that poor, unfortunate maid!” “That is just as well, Likely,” said Inspector Spunkleford. “After all, we are at Rydeham-Harde House now.” “What?” said I. It was at this point that I [...]

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    Posted in The Beast With Two Backs | 10 Comments »

    The Astonishing Anger of Lord Likely

    Saturday, March 29th, 2008

    or Lord Likely is One: The Final Chapter. March, 1857. Having been left a homeless wretch, caked in vomit and piss and with my natural sense of style and grace rent asunder, I was naturally more than a little displeased with those vagrant swines who had placed me in such a position. In fact, it [...]

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    Posted in Likely Is One | 11 Comments »

    Hard Times

    Sunday, March 16th, 2008

    or Lord Likely is One, chapter number six. Date unknown, 1857. I awoke with the most awful of headaches. I am no stranger to hangovers, of course. My hedonistic lifestyle dictates that I often wake up with a fierce, pounding headache and with little or no recollection of the previous twenty-four hours. Indeed, the entire [...]

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    Posted in Likely Is One | 18 Comments »

    A Nice Foamy Head

    Thursday, March 13th, 2008

    or Lord Likely is One, Chapter Number Five. Having pumped the incredibly freakish Jennifer, the Incredibly Freakish, and filled her with so much of my man-cream that she was nothing more than a walking, human éclair, I decided that it was high-time for a little light refreshment. I headed back to the scrap-yard, where I [...]

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    Posted in Likely Is One | 17 Comments »

    Lord Likely is One

    Sunday, February 24th, 2008

    February the Twenty-Fourth, Eighteen Fifty-Seven Oh, dear diary! Today is a special day indeed, for it heralds the one year anniversary of our joyous union! Can it really be twelve months since I first opened you up, took my quill firmly in my hand and thrust it betwixt your soft, creamy pages, and filled you [...]

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    Posted in Likely Is One | 21 Comments »

    Lord Likely has Some Trouble with The Brown Mist

    Tuesday, February 12th, 2008

    Behold! The Double-length Conclusion to Lord Likely’s Latest Astonishing Adventure! 1st of May, 1851. As Mr. Harry Flashman and I dashed off to find my missing man-servant, I took the time to explain precisely how my stinking servant had become an integral part of our latest mystery, the disappearance of the Koh-i-Noor Diamond. “Here is [...]

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    Posted in Lord Likely And The Flash Man | 7 Comments »

    In Which His Lordship Makes An Exhibition of Himself.

    Thursday, January 10th, 2008

    January the Tenth, 1857. To be quite honest, the year eighteen fifty-seven has so far been rather disappointing. I’m aware that the year is still very much in its infancy, but infant or not, this year must try damned harder or it shall feel my boot in its backside. Why, I have only gotten drunk [...]

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    Posted in Lord Likely And The Flash Man | 9 Comments »

    Wherein his lordship takes a trip down Memory Lane, and vomits up some anecdotes.

    Monday, November 26th, 2007

    November, 1856. Needless to say, after being caught with his trousers around his ankles with a solitary playing card sticking out of his arse-crack, Archibald the Entirely Adequate looked more than slightly embarrassed, and less than entirely adequate. “And what is going on here?” I asked, with mock outrage in my voice. “Good heavens! Likely!” [...]

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    Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 9 Comments »

    In which his lordship hits the town – right in the balls.

    Monday, November 19th, 2007

    November 20th, 1856. It was a freezing cold, damp and drizzly November evening, and rather than being snugly ensconced in the warmth of my luxurious mansion, I was outside, standing in the rain, getting wetter and more irate with each passing second. “What in the name of blue-arsed buggery am I doing here?” I snapped [...]

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    Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 8 Comments »

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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