The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

Lord Likely’s Thrilling Third Anniversary Threesome!

Saturday, February 27th, 2010

Lord Likely’s three-week long celebration of his Astonishing Adventures comences. HUZZAH!

Tags: alcohol, anniversary, celebration, dancing girls, Darren Craske, humour, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, party, readers, three years, Victorian, web fiction, weblit

Posted in Random Insertions | 9 Comments »

One Score and Four, Hour Twenty: Wherein Likely Loses Time

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Hour…TWENTY? Clearly, Likely has lost some time…but how?

Tags: 24, CTUN, erection, Felicity Boondoggles, fiction, humour, lady, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, parody, Victorian, weblit

Posted in One Score and Four | No Comments »

Wherein Mrs. Bapps Is Given The Boot

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

Previously in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: this happened.
November, 1857.
“WELL, sir, what will you have become of me?” snarled Mrs. Bapps, as Botter carefully trained his rolling-pin on her. “Am I to be arrested, and hung for my crimes? Or will you just kill me now? What? What will you do?”
“I was thinking of [...]

Tags: bootblack, botter, fiction, humour, Inspector Spunkleford, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, Mrs. Bapps, William Swishbuckle

Posted in The Bastard Bootblack Of Bilgecranny Lane | 14 Comments »

The Cream of the Crop

Monday, December 8th, 2008

November, 1857.

“LIE back and close your eyes, and I shall deliver a creamy surprise!” I said, as I unsheathed my raging Lord Palmerston, which was, by now, stiffer than a corpse lying in a lake on a freezing cold winter’s day.
“Mmmm,” Mrs. Bapps replied, licking her lips. “Sounds delicious!”
“Jolly good!” I said, and then I [...]

Tags: botter, ejaculate, fiction, humour, Inspector Spunkleford, intercourse, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, Mr. Poots, Mrs. Bapps, mystery

Posted in The Bastard Bootblack Of Bilgecranny Lane | 12 Comments »

Lord Likely vs Lord Loathsome

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

September, 1857.
So there we were: Lord Loathsome, murderous villain and knob-end of the highest order, and myself – Lord Likely, Aristocratic Adventurer and all-round ruddy fantastic fellow indeed, facing off against one another in the bell-tower of my old school, St. Bumthrusty’s.
Loathsome, being the utterly indefensible weasel that he is, had already gotten the first [...]

Tags: botter, duel, fiction, fight, Harold Loathsome, humour, Inspector Spunkleford, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, massive bell, St. Bumthrusty's

Posted in Likely Vs Loathsome | 16 Comments »

Six of the Best

Sunday, October 5th, 2008

September, 1857.
“Well bless my soul! Is that little Lord Likely I can see? What an unexpected surprise!” beamed Professor Ventricle, my old biology teacher, as he entered his classroom wherein I was currently ensconced.
“The one and the same, sir,” I replied. “Although I am no longer little, I hasten to point out.”
“Indeed…indeed..” Ventricle replied. “And…um…who [...]

Tags: botter, Harold Loathsome, Hedgerow, intercourse, Lizzie Flapkiss, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, orgy, Professor Ventricle, St. Bumthrusty's, Veronica Ventricle

Posted in Likely Vs Loathsome | 10 Comments »

A Very Old Flame

Sunday, September 21st, 2008

September, 1857.
We all headed towards the large, oak doors of St. Bumthrusty’s School for Boys; Botter lagging slightly behind the rest of us, nursing his freshly clobbered cranium.
‘Class of 1832, Please Proceed This Way‘, read a sign affixed to the door, an arrow indicating that we should head around the side of the building, and [...]

Tags: Agnes Cum-Loudly, awards, best, botter, fiction, humour, Inspector Spunkleford, intercourse, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, St. Bumthrusty's, teacher, The Guardian

Posted in Likely Vs Loathsome | 16 Comments »

A Tale of Two Ladies – Part One

Monday, August 18th, 2008

Or: A Tale of Four Titties

August the Nineteenth, 1857.

Fate is a queer mistress, is she not?
Sometimes, Fate can give you a good, hard kick to the gonads, but then mere moments later she can pick you right back up again, and passionately lap at those self-same testicles with her Tongue of Good Fortune.
Take last night, [...]

Tags: botter, Dorothy Mount-Worthy, farce, humour, Judge Joseph Dreadful, ladies, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, Maud, party

Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »

Lord Likely Version Two Point OH!

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

July 30th, 1857.
Good day, dear readers!
Behold a bold new era for my (frankly incredible) journals, as Mr. Isambard Kingdom Brunel has just completed his renovation of my diaries, resulting in the cock-stiffening, mimsy-moistening new look you are currently witnessing before your doubtlessly stunned eyeballs.
Mr. Brunel did take a day longer than I had hoped, but [...]

Tags: drunk, fiction, hospital, humor, Isambard Kingdom Brunel, journals, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, renovation, web-logging

Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »

Wherein Injustice is Exposed

Saturday, July 19th, 2008

July 20th, 1857.
With a furious rage in my heart, and a large double-ended dildo in my hand, I set off to track down the despicable Dagos who had taken up residence in my precious home, with the intention of violently introducing the sizable sex-toy to their filthy Italian rectums.
Botter lagged several paces behind, carrying a [...]

Tags: Alfredo Di Clitt, Banksy, botter, fiction, humor, Italians, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, penis wrestling, Rocko, Spaff Pistol, The Love Dungeon

Posted in Disaster At The Likely Estate | 9 Comments »