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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    Posts Tagged ‘Lord Palmerston’

    Lord Likely’s Thrilling Third Anniversary Threesome!

    Saturday, February 27th, 2010

    Lord Likely’s three-week long celebration of his Astonishing Adventures comences. HUZZAH!

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 9 Comments »

    One Score and Four, Hour Twenty: Wherein Likely Loses Time

    Friday, January 29th, 2010

    Hour…TWENTY? Clearly, Likely has lost some time…but how?

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    Posted in One Score and Four | No Comments »

    Wherein Mrs. Bapps Is Given The Boot

    Monday, February 2nd, 2009

    Previously in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: this happened.
    November, 1857.
    “WELL, sir, what will you have become of me?” snarled Mrs. Bapps, as Botter carefully trained his rolling-pin on her. “Am I to be arrested, and hung for my crimes? Or will you just kill me now? What? What will you do?”
    “I was thinking of [...]

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    Posted in The Bastard Bootblack Of Bilgecranny Lane | 14 Comments »

    The Cream of the Crop

    Monday, December 8th, 2008

    November, 1857.

    “LIE back and close your eyes, and I shall deliver a creamy surprise!” I said, as I unsheathed my raging Lord Palmerston, which was, by now, stiffer than a corpse lying in a lake on a freezing cold winter’s day.
    “Mmmm,” Mrs. Bapps replied, licking her lips. “Sounds delicious!”
    “Jolly good!” I said, and then I [...]

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    Posted in The Bastard Bootblack Of Bilgecranny Lane | 12 Comments »

    Lord Likely vs Lord Loathsome

    Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

    September, 1857.
    So there we were: Lord Loathsome, murderous villain and knob-end of the highest order, and myself – Lord Likely, Aristocratic Adventurer and all-round ruddy fantastic fellow indeed, facing off against one another in the bell-tower of my old school, St. Bumthrusty’s.
    Loathsome, being the utterly indefensible weasel that he is, had already gotten the first [...]

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    Posted in Likely Vs Loathsome | 16 Comments »

    Six of the Best

    Sunday, October 5th, 2008

    September, 1857.
    “Well bless my soul! Is that little Lord Likely I can see? What an unexpected surprise!” beamed Professor Ventricle, my old biology teacher, as he entered his classroom wherein I was currently ensconced.
    “The one and the same, sir,” I replied. “Although I am no longer little, I hasten to point out.”
    “Indeed…indeed..” Ventricle replied. “And…um…who [...]

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    Posted in Likely Vs Loathsome | 10 Comments »

    A Very Old Flame

    Sunday, September 21st, 2008

    September, 1857.
    We all headed towards the large, oak doors of St. Bumthrusty’s School for Boys; Botter lagging slightly behind the rest of us, nursing his freshly clobbered cranium.
    ‘Class of 1832, Please Proceed This Way‘, read a sign affixed to the door, an arrow indicating that we should head around the side of the building, and [...]

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    Posted in Likely Vs Loathsome | 16 Comments »

    A Tale of Two Ladies – Part One

    Monday, August 18th, 2008

    Or: A Tale of Four Titties

    August the Nineteenth, 1857.

    Fate is a queer mistress, is she not?
    Sometimes, Fate can give you a good, hard kick to the gonads, but then mere moments later she can pick you right back up again, and passionately lap at those self-same testicles with her Tongue of Good Fortune.
    Take last night, [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »

    Lord Likely Version Two Point OH!

    Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

    July 30th, 1857.
    Good day, dear readers!
    Behold a bold new era for my (frankly incredible) journals, as Mr. Isambard Kingdom Brunel has just completed his renovation of my diaries, resulting in the cock-stiffening, mimsy-moistening new look you are currently witnessing before your doubtlessly stunned eyeballs.
    Mr. Brunel did take a day longer than I had hoped, but [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »

    Wherein Injustice is Exposed

    Saturday, July 19th, 2008

    July 20th, 1857.
    With a furious rage in my heart, and a large double-ended dildo in my hand, I set off to track down the despicable Dagos who had taken up residence in my precious home, with the intention of violently introducing the sizable sex-toy to their filthy Italian rectums.
    Botter lagged several paces behind, carrying a [...]

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    Posted in Disaster At The Likely Estate | 9 Comments »

    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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