Likely's Whore-Box


Praise For Lord Likely

"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."

THE DAILY NEWS SHEET

"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."

THE LONDON LOOKER

"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."

LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER

"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."

THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS

"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"

THE TOWN CRIER

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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    Posts Tagged ‘Lord Palmerston’

    Six of the Best

    Sunday, October 5th, 2008

    September, 1857. “Well bless my soul! Is that little Lord Likely I can see? What an unexpected surprise!” beamed Professor Ventricle, my old biology teacher, as he entered his classroom wherein I was currently ensconced. “The one and the same, sir,” I replied. “Although I am no longer little, I hasten to point out.” “Indeed…indeed..” [...]

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    Posted in Likely Vs Loathsome | 10 Comments »

    A Very Old Flame

    Sunday, September 21st, 2008

    September, 1857. We all headed towards the large, oak doors of St. Bumthrusty’s School for Boys; Botter lagging slightly behind the rest of us, nursing his freshly clobbered cranium. ‘Class of 1832, Please Proceed This Way‘, read a sign affixed to the door, an arrow indicating that we should head around the side of the [...]

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    Posted in Likely Vs Loathsome | 16 Comments »

    A Tale of Two Ladies – Part One

    Monday, August 18th, 2008

    Or: A Tale of Four Titties August the Nineteenth, 1857. Fate is a queer mistress, is she not? Sometimes, Fate can give you a good, hard kick to the gonads, but then mere moments later she can pick you right back up again, and passionately lap at those self-same testicles with her Tongue of Good [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »

    Lord Likely Version Two Point OH!

    Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

    July 30th, 1857. Good day, dear readers! Behold a bold new era for my (frankly incredible) journals, as Mr. Isambard Kingdom Brunel has just completed his renovation of my diaries, resulting in the cock-stiffening, mimsy-moistening new look you are currently witnessing before your doubtlessly stunned eyeballs. Mr. Brunel did take a day longer than I [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »

    Wherein Injustice is Exposed

    Saturday, July 19th, 2008

    July 20th, 1857. With a furious rage in my heart, and a large double-ended dildo in my hand, I set off to track down the despicable Dagos who had taken up residence in my precious home, with the intention of violently introducing the sizable sex-toy to their filthy Italian rectums. Botter lagged several paces behind, [...]

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    Posted in Disaster At The Likely Estate | 9 Comments »

    Interval: No Use Crying Over Spilt Tea

    Thursday, July 3rd, 2008

    July the Fourth, 1857. I have noticed that to-day is Independence Day in the United States of America, the day whereupon the American people celebrate the occasion of their freedom from British rule, back in 1776. Quite why anyone would want to celebrate such an event is beyond me – surely any event that results [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 8 Comments »

    The Italian Stallion

    Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

    June 20th, 1857. I was in some exceptionally deep excrement. Was it really at all possible that I had gambled away the ownership of my entire Estate whilst off my Lordly tits on booze in Italy? Could I really have been that inebriated? Or were the two Italian miscreants currently taking up residence in my [...]

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    Posted in Disaster At The Likely Estate | 16 Comments »

    Likely in Exile – Part the Second

    Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

    —Lord Likely in Exile in Australia— Lord Likely rises to power in Australia. Part Two, in which, his cream rising to the top, Lord Likely becomes master of his domain: May 21, 1862 I begin to father numerous children. The husbands of the children’s mothers are not amused. — So there I was, standing on [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 18 Comments »

    Likely in Exile – Part the First.

    Monday, May 26th, 2008

    —The Sad Chronicles of Lord Likely in Exile— Part One: Lord Likely lands in Australia. “With the aid of a friendly native, I come upon my new home.” 19th May, 1861 Botany Bay Sydney, New South Wales Her Majesty’s Austrailian Territories So there I was, standing, finally, on the soil of my new homeland, staring [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 8 Comments »

    What the Dickens?

    Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

    The Tower of London, 10th of April in the year of Our Lord 1857 This document is being written in the hope that it might be smuggled out of this wretched place and its contents disseminated, so that I may be freed and my name cleared. At the very least, I hope that my family [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 6 Comments »

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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