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Likely's Whore-Box
Completed Tales
- The Likely Letters
- The Strange Case of the Sinister Snowman
- The Filching Fog of Finsbury Park
- Our Mutual Fiend
- Botter's Astonishing Adventure
- The Bloody Baffling Buckingham Bluff
- One Score and Four
- A Christmas Carry On
- Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances
- The Puzzling Pearl Necklace Puzzle
- The Bastard Bootblack Of Bilgecranny Lane
- Likely Vs Loathsome
- Disaster At The Likely Estate
- The Beast With Two Backs
- Likely Is One
- Lord Likely And The Flash Man
- The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity
- An Astonishing American Adventure
- The Mystery of the Missing Moustache
- The Riddle Of The Runaway Romanov
- The Peculiar Prostitute Predicament
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Posts Tagged ‘Lord Palmerston’
Six of the Best
Sunday, October 5th, 2008
September, 1857. “Well bless my soul! Is that little Lord Likely I can see? What an unexpected surprise!” beamed Professor Ventricle, my old biology teacher, as he entered his classroom wherein I was currently ensconced. “The one and the same, sir,” I replied. “Although I am no longer little, I hasten to point out.” “Indeed…indeed..” [...]
Tags: botter, Harold Loathsome, Hedgerow, intercourse, Lizzie Flapkiss, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, orgy, Professor Ventricle, St. Bumthrusty's, Veronica Ventricle
Posted in Likely Vs Loathsome | 10 Comments »
A Very Old Flame
Sunday, September 21st, 2008
September, 1857. We all headed towards the large, oak doors of St. Bumthrusty’s School for Boys; Botter lagging slightly behind the rest of us, nursing his freshly clobbered cranium. ‘Class of 1832, Please Proceed This Way‘, read a sign affixed to the door, an arrow indicating that we should head around the side of the [...]
Tags: Agnes Cum-Loudly, awards, best, botter, fiction, humour, Inspector Spunkleford, intercourse, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, St. Bumthrusty's, teacher, The Guardian
Posted in Likely Vs Loathsome | 16 Comments »
A Tale of Two Ladies – Part One
Monday, August 18th, 2008
Or: A Tale of Four Titties August the Nineteenth, 1857. Fate is a queer mistress, is she not? Sometimes, Fate can give you a good, hard kick to the gonads, but then mere moments later she can pick you right back up again, and passionately lap at those self-same testicles with her Tongue of Good [...]
Tags: botter, Dorothy Mount-Worthy, farce, humour, Judge Joseph Dreadful, ladies, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, Maud, party
Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »
Lord Likely Version Two Point OH!
Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
July 30th, 1857. Good day, dear readers! Behold a bold new era for my (frankly incredible) journals, as Mr. Isambard Kingdom Brunel has just completed his renovation of my diaries, resulting in the cock-stiffening, mimsy-moistening new look you are currently witnessing before your doubtlessly stunned eyeballs. Mr. Brunel did take a day longer than I [...]
Tags: drunk, fiction, hospital, humor, Isambard Kingdom Brunel, journals, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, renovation, web-logging
Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »
Wherein Injustice is Exposed
Saturday, July 19th, 2008
July 20th, 1857. With a furious rage in my heart, and a large double-ended dildo in my hand, I set off to track down the despicable Dagos who had taken up residence in my precious home, with the intention of violently introducing the sizable sex-toy to their filthy Italian rectums. Botter lagged several paces behind, [...]
Tags: Alfredo Di Clitt, Banksy, botter, fiction, humor, Italians, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, penis wrestling, Rocko, Spaff Pistol, The Love Dungeon
Posted in Disaster At The Likely Estate | 9 Comments »
Interval: No Use Crying Over Spilt Tea
Thursday, July 3rd, 2008
July the Fourth, 1857. I have noticed that to-day is Independence Day in the United States of America, the day whereupon the American people celebrate the occasion of their freedom from British rule, back in 1776. Quite why anyone would want to celebrate such an event is beyond me – surely any event that results [...]
Tags: America, American Independence, Boston Tea Party, Captain Cook, humor, intercourse, July 4th, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, parody, Samuel Adams, Sandy Cleft, satire, tea
Posted in Random Insertions | 8 Comments »
The Italian Stallion
Wednesday, June 25th, 2008
June 20th, 1857. I was in some exceptionally deep excrement. Was it really at all possible that I had gambled away the ownership of my entire Estate whilst off my Lordly tits on booze in Italy? Could I really have been that inebriated? Or were the two Italian miscreants currently taking up residence in my [...]
Tags: botter, drunk, English Civil War, fiction, humor, Italian, Likely Estate, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, orgies, penis wrestling, Rocko, wager, whores
Posted in Disaster At The Likely Estate | 16 Comments »
Likely in Exile – Part the Second
Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
—Lord Likely in Exile in Australia— Lord Likely rises to power in Australia. Part Two, in which, his cream rising to the top, Lord Likely becomes master of his domain: May 21, 1862 I begin to father numerous children. The husbands of the children’s mothers are not amused. — So there I was, standing on [...]
Tags: Australia, beating botter stick, British Speak, Chesterfield Twins, Dolly Malone, Duke of Chesterfield, Exile, guest, intercourse, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, Relax Max
Posted in Random Insertions | 18 Comments »
Likely in Exile – Part the First.
Monday, May 26th, 2008
—The Sad Chronicles of Lord Likely in Exile— Part One: Lord Likely lands in Australia. “With the aid of a friendly native, I come upon my new home.†19th May, 1861 Botany Bay Sydney, New South Wales Her Majesty’s Austrailian Territories So there I was, standing, finally, on the soil of my new homeland, staring [...]
Tags: Australia, botter, British Speak, guest, intercourse, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, Molly Muff, Relax Max
Posted in Random Insertions | 8 Comments »
What the Dickens?
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
The Tower of London, 10th of April in the year of Our Lord 1857 This document is being written in the hope that it might be smuggled out of this wretched place and its contents disseminated, so that I may be freed and my name cleared. At the very least, I hope that my family [...]
Tags: botter, Charles Dickens, Charles Dickkens, debauchery, guest, literature, Little Nell, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, Nitehawk, Offbeat Chronicles, The Old Curiosity Shop
Posted in Random Insertions | 6 Comments »
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About His Lordship
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing
Peruse Further...Contact His Lordship!
Send his lordship your letters, nude pictographs, declarations of love and wads of cash by clicking upon the most handsome stamp above!
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All funds raised go towards his lordship's drinking fund, with absolutely NO proceeds going to the homeless or any other filthy wastrels
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