The Astonishing Adventures of
Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"
THE TOWN CRIER
Sunday, July 10th, 2011
I PURCHASED a copy of the brand-new news-sheet, The News of the World today (see cover above). It does look like a very fine journal indeed, full of integrity and the very finest journalism. I fully expect it to keep running for anywhere up to one hundred and sixty-eight years. For now, I’m off to [...]
Tags: Charles Dickens, gloveless ladies, journalism, Lord Likely, News of the World, newspaper, onanism, parody, spoof, Victorian
Posted in Random Insertions | 1 Comment »
Friday, April 11th, 2008
April, 1857. Writing these very journals is usually an exceedingly simple task. Being so incredibly gifted and ridiculously talented, I find that writing is almost second-nature to me, like breathing, or love-making, or crapping into my man-servant’s bed. However, as my last entry proves, I was having great difficulty in penning an article worthy of [...]
Tags: Beast With Two Backs, botter, Inspector Spunkleford, Lord and Lady Rydeham-Harde, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, murder, onanism, Rydeham-Harde House, Victorian Housewives, wanking
Posted in The Beast With Two Backs | 18 Comments »
Thursday, February 14th, 2008
February 14th, 1857.It will come as no surprise to those who know me that I find myself inundated with Valentine’s Day cards every February the fourteenth. From anonymous declarations of love, to heavily-scented letters from female admirers begging me to deposit my noble seed inside their wanton mimsies, I receive them all by the sack-load. [...]
Tags: botter, Dame Spodgebucket, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, love, masturbation, onanism, romance, semen, Sir Spodgebucket, spaff, Valentine's Day
Posted in Random Insertions | 17 Comments »
Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
June, 1856 Following the fracas at dinner, I left the dining room, stopping along the way to collect a few cabin numbers from some women who seemed rather eager to further make my acquaintance, as well as from a couple of men. Being a modern-thinking Victorian gentle-man, I gratefully took all the details thrust upon [...]
Tags: Doctor Corkscrews, HMS Bastard, Lord Likley, Lord Palmerston, masturbation, onanism, wanking
Posted in An Astonishing American Adventure | 12 Comments »
Wednesday, May 30th, 2007
May 31st, 1856 As I continue to trawl through my prized collection of pornography, readying the various items for display in my all-new Porn Library, I came across an astonishingly precious artifact. Luckily, a quick dab down with a dry cloth soon had it nice and clean again, and free of my ennobled ejaculate. The [...]
Tags: botter, Leonardo Da Vinci, Moaning Lisa, Mona Lisa, onanism, painting, porn library, pornography, treasure
Posted in Random Insertions | 16 Comments »
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing
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