AS 1857 slouches off into the distance like an elderly old man who has just soiled his undergarments, it is time to welcome in the far more sprightly (and far less urine-stained) new year. Huzzah!

As well as heralding a night of unbridled drinking and revelry, the coming of a new year is also the time when people decide to draw up their new year’s resolutions, with which they hope to better themselves in the upcoming twelve months. Normally, I hold no truck with such ridiculous rituals, but having consumed one whisky too many, I decided that I would try and make a list of resolutions for myself. However, I quickly realised that I had set myself something of an impossible task. How exactly does one improve upon perfection?

In the end, this was all I could muster:

Ah, well. At least this is one resolution I shall have no trouble in keeping.

Happy New Year, friends!

- Lord Likely.

Next Time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: Likely resumes his Incredible Inter-Active Adventure! Hooray!