The Astonishing Adventures of
Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
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THE TOWN CRIER
Thursday, March 13th, 2008
or Lord Likely is One, Chapter Number Five. Having pumped the incredibly freakish Jennifer, the Incredibly Freakish, and filled her with so much of my man-cream that she was nothing more than a walking, human éclair, I decided that it was high-time for a little light refreshment. I headed back to the scrap-yard, where I [...]
Tags: alcohol, beer, botter, drunk, homeless, Jennifer the Incredibly Freakish, Lord Likely, piss, tramps, urine
Posted in Likely Is One | 17 Comments »
Friday, December 21st, 2007
Presenting a special double-length festive adventure, in one giant, throbbing part. December, 1856. It was Christmas Eve, and I was in London Town, doing some last-minute Christmas shopping, for myself, of course. I had thus far treated myself to a solid-gold moustache comb, five bottles of whisky and a particularly pornographic pamphlet entitled ‘Shoeless Hussies’. [...]
Tags: beggars, botter, Christmas, ejaculate, Ghost of Christmas Past, intercourse, Likely Estate, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, spirit, urine
Posted in Random Insertions | 16 Comments »
Saturday, April 7th, 2007
March, 1856 As Madam Darkness took me in her cold embrace, I came to recall my previous romantic entanglements, and how they came to end. I shall now record a selection of them here, as a warning to other men, lest they too are ensnared in the awful traps frequently laid by the female of [...]
Tags: intercourse, sex, urine, women
Posted in The Riddle Of The Runaway Romanov | No Comments »
Thursday, March 29th, 2007
March, 1856. Botter and I took a carriage to London Town, eager to get our teeth into another exciting adventure. Well, I was eager, at any rate. Botter complained about the whole affair, until I silenced him by hitting his testicles with a pipe. Unlike our carriage ride in our last adventure, this journey passed [...]
Tags: Albert Spunkleford, carriage ride, Miss Eileen Nipples, urine
Posted in The Riddle Of The Runaway Romanov | 5 Comments »
Thursday, March 1st, 2007
2nd March 1856 (or thereabouts) Now, where was I? Ah, yes, heading to London Town to track down my would-be assassin. Well, having gathered our senses after our drunken debacle, Botter and I recommenced our journey. However, after a few hours of aimless wandering, we soon came to the inevitable conclusion that we were lost. [...]
Tags: Albert Spunkleford, beggars, foul stenches, urine
Posted in The Peculiar Prostitute Predicament | No Comments »
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing
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