Likely's Whore-Box

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"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."

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"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."

THE LONDON LOOKER

"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."

LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER

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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    Archive for November, 2007

    In which an unfortunate fellow is slain by a King.

    Thursday, November 29th, 2007

    November, 1856. As I finally took my seat in the theatre’s auditorium, next to my man-servant Botter, the curtains rose on what was going to prove to be an unforgettable show – for all the wrong reasons. First on were the chorus girls, with whom I had already had the pleasure of acquainting myself with […]

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    Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 10 Comments »

    Wherein his lordship takes a trip down Memory Lane, and vomits up some anecdotes.

    Monday, November 26th, 2007

    November, 1856. Needless to say, after being caught with his trousers around his ankles with a solitary playing card sticking out of his arse-crack, Archibald the Entirely Adequate looked more than slightly embarrassed, and less than entirely adequate. “And what is going on here?” I asked, with mock outrage in my voice. “Good heavens! Likely!” […]

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    Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 9 Comments »

    A forced entrance, and an uncomfortable exit.

    Thursday, November 22nd, 2007

    November, 1856.Having rather skillfully and artfully negotiated my entrance into the theatre, I was feeling somewhat chipper, that is until my progress was once again impeded upon, this time by a rather old chap wearing a comically ill-fitting waistcoat. I regarded him with barely-concealed derision. “Good evening, sirs,” the fellow croaked. “Could I just see […]

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    Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 9 Comments »

    In which his lordship hits the town – right in the balls.

    Monday, November 19th, 2007

    November 20th, 1856. It was a freezing cold, damp and drizzly November evening, and rather than being snugly ensconced in the warmth of my luxurious mansion, I was outside, standing in the rain, getting wetter and more irate with each passing second. “What in the name of blue-arsed buggery am I doing here?” I snapped […]

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    Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 8 Comments »

    The day I ejaculated upon the Queen’s face

    Thursday, November 15th, 2007

    November, 1856. Today shall be the final entry concerning my centenary, as I wrap up this two-week long celebration, which has seen me recollecting my finest moments, commissioning a spectacular portrait and, of course, doling out glorious, glittering golden cocks. It has been wonderful fun, and there has been much jubilation and revelry, not to […]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 22 Comments »

    And Now For An Advertisement

    Monday, November 12th, 2007

    November, 1856. – Lord Likely humor-blogs.com | The Pisstakers | Fuel His LordshipThe Best Bit of the InternetThe World’s Most Erotic Snowmen > Subscribe in a reader

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 12 Comments »

    In which His lordship is Framed and then Hanged

    Friday, November 9th, 2007

    November 10th, 1856. With my centennial celebrations in full swing, I was feeling particularly jubilant and high-spirited yesterday, so thought I would celebrate my recent milestone by commissioning a portrait of myself, to forever immortalise my ravishing form, and to no doubt act as a masturbatory aid for lonely housewives. And men too, I would […]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 17 Comments »

    Lord Likely’s Golden Cock of Excellence

    Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

    November, 1856. Having recently completed my one-hundredth exhilarating entry in these very journals, I decided to celebrate this centennial by imbibing one-hundred pints of beer, whilst hosting a massive orgy featuring some one-hundred ladies. Needless to say, the combination of such a large amount of alcohol and numerous wet, sweaty bodies did not mix well, […]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 29 Comments »

    The Likely Centenary: His Lordship’s Greatest Hits

    Monday, November 5th, 2007

    November 5th, 1856. Remember, remember the fifth of November. Not because of that awful terrorist bastard Guy Fawkes, and his preposterous plan to blow up the Houses of Parliament. No, dear readers, the real reason to remember this historic day is that it is the very day that I, Lord Likely, celebrate my one-hundredth journal […]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »

    A Horrifying Tale of Horror

    Thursday, November 1st, 2007

    October 31st, 1856. Hallowe’en. Upon returning to the Likely Estate after my long, arduous, but nonetheless astonishing American Adventure, I was annoyed to find that there was scant food in the house, and the food which we did have had long since expired and gone off. Worse still, squirrels had somehow gotten into my lovely […]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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