The Astonishing Adventures of
Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"
THE TOWN CRIER
Sunday, December 30th, 2007
December 31st, 1856. So, the year eighteen fifty-six is finally coming to its inevitable, thrusting climax; and soon I shall find myself gently entering the year eighteen fifty-seven, in which I shall no doubt be faced with a slew of new astonishing adventures, and more than my fair share of buxom wenches to pump wildly. [...]
Thursday, December 27th, 2007
Christmas Day, 1856. Well, what a fine Christmas-time I am having this year. Not only have I already enjoyed urinating on a beggar, and having intercourse with a ghost, but today I received a rather marvelous present from my wretched man-servant, Botter. I rose early on Christmas morn, and was looking forward to thrashing my [...]
Friday, December 21st, 2007
Presenting a special double-length festive adventure, in one giant, throbbing part. December, 1856. It was Christmas Eve, and I was in London Town, doing some last-minute Christmas shopping, for myself, of course. I had thus far treated myself to a solid-gold moustache comb, five bottles of whisky and a particularly pornographic pamphlet entitled ‘Shoeless Hussies’. [...]
Wednesday, December 19th, 2007
November, 1856. “Are you comfortable?” chortled Silas Surprise, as he double-checked the locks on the box inside of which my lordly form was now contained. “I would be considerably more comfortable if I was not inside this box,” I ventured. “Ha! A commendable try, your lordship! Most commendable indeed! Alas, I am afraid you are [...]
Saturday, December 15th, 2007
November, 1856. “Well,” I said, pulling my trousers back up following my recent bout of intercourse. “I think that concludes my…cross examination. Now, Mr. Silas Surprise, I shall be going, but I dare say that I shall return in due course, and I shall bring with me conclusive evidence that you are nothing more than [...]
Thursday, December 13th, 2007
November, 1856. The first thing I noticed about Mr. Silas Surprise was the enormous size of his wand. I could not help but notice it, really. As Archie, the doctor and I entered Mr. Surprise’s dressing-room to confront him over our recent tussle with an alarmingly un-dead gentleman, we found the conjurer standing proudly next [...]
Monday, December 10th, 2007
November, 1856. When one dies, I firmly believe that one should stay dead. It is rather bad form to suddenly spring back to life, and considerably worse form still to then attempt to eat the brains of anyone else in the vicinity. People tend to frown upon such cannibalistic actions in polite society. Yet it [...]
Thursday, December 6th, 2007
November, 1856.“Is there a doctor in the house?” I repeated to the crowd of stunned faces before me. No-one moved a muscle, until one rather plump woman stood up and pointed a shaking finger at the recently deceased fellow, lying in a pool of his own blood on the stage behind me, a solitary playing [...]
Monday, December 3rd, 2007
December, 1856. – Lord Likely Other places of interest: humor-blogs.com | The Pisstakers | Fuel His LordshipThe Best Bit of the InternetNew! Digital Sickbag > Subscribe in a reader
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousingPeruse Further...
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