The Astonishing Adventures of
Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"
THE TOWN CRIER
Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
March 1st 1856 I know what you’re probably thinking at this point: how many horses do I own, and what are they called? Well, dear reader, I shall tell you. I own five horses, and they are named as follows: Sir Cloppington – my favourite horse, a proud, black stallion with hundreds of miles on […]
Tags: horses
Posted in The Peculiar Prostitute Predicament | 1 Comment »
Monday, February 26th, 2007
February 27th 1856 (elevenses) “Buckingham Palace?” exclaimed Botter, upon hearing me reveal the location of my latest stalker’s return address. I sighed, as I am partial to doing when in the company of such low-level intelligence. “Buckingham PLACE, Botter, you cloth-eared miscreant.” “You what, your lordship?” I rolled my eyes, and then clouted Botter with […]
Tags: candlestick, carriage, deafness, fight, vomit
Posted in The Peculiar Prostitute Predicament | No Comments »
Sunday, February 25th, 2007
February 26th, 1856 Receiving death-threats is nothing new to me. Living in a state of sheer, unbridled luxury and hedonism as I do, I am prone to angry missives fired off from those less fortunate than I, on an alarmingly regular basis. These range from passionately detailed essays written by seething socialists, to hastily-scrawled notes […]
Tags: address, death threats, gas, letter
Posted in The Peculiar Prostitute Predicament | 1 Comment »
Sunday, February 25th, 2007
February 25th 1856 (morning-time) It began a day like any other, with me having my genitals washed by my faithful man-servant Botter, who due to his unfortunate accident yesterday, had to perform the task one-handed. My morning abolutions were interrupted, however, by the chimes of my front-door bell, informing me that the morning’s post had […]
Tags: letter, lord, lordship, palmerston, wash
Posted in The Peculiar Prostitute Predicament | 3 Comments »
Sunday, February 25th, 2007
February 24th, of the year of our Lord 1856 Being a hard-working member of the aristocracy is tiresome fare indeed. When not deciding which hat to wear, or attending private functions, or stabbing a beggar, there’s countless other tasks which all vie for my finite attention. It can leave one quiet worn out. Fortuitously, I […]
Tags: accident, amusing, botter, humourous
Posted in The Peculiar Prostitute Predicament | 2 Comments »
Sunday, February 25th, 2007
Welcome, dear reader, to my incredible and, quite frankly, powerfully erotic journals. If this is your first visit here, then where in the name of dickery have you been? You’ve missed a hell of a lot of astonishing adventures, let me tell you. But it’s alright. I forgive you. We all have to start somewhere, […]
Tags: beating botter stick, beggars, botter, fantastic, fencing, Inspector Spunkleford, intercourse, Likely Estate, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, Queen Victoria, whisky
Posted in Random Insertions | 5 Comments »
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing
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