The Astonishing Adventures of
Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"
THE TOWN CRIER
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
April, 1856 Ivan Romanov circled Botter and I, keeping his pistol trained upon us as he did so. “Lord Likely,” he snarled. “The aristocratic adventurer. The gentle-man of action. The Victorian vigilante.” “It is nice to know I am as well known in Russia as I am here at home,” I said. “And I did […]
Friday, April 27th, 2007
April 1856 “There you go, your royal-ness,” the police-officer said, as we arrived safely at the Russian embassy. “I hope that everything is to your satisfaction, and you will leave my balls quite well alone.” Botter opened his mouth to reel off some more Russian, but I had had quite my fill of his showing-off, […]
Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
April, 1856. After our brief distractions, Botter and I continued onto the Russian embassy, making good on our legs and keeping a quick but steady pace. Soon we had made a significant advance in our journey, and found ourselves only a few streets away from our target destination. “Botter,” I said to my man-servant, who […]
Tuesday, April 24th, 2007
April, 1856 Having calmed myself down after having been utterly consumed with rage upon seeing that awful ‘Wanted’ poster, my mind began to race ahead of me, plotting out the course of action for when Botter and I arrived at the Russian embassy. I was strolling along, deep in rumination, when Botter suddenly alerted me […]
Sunday, April 22nd, 2007
April, 1856 Botter and I, still sporting our crafty disguises, departed the Tackle-Tuck shop and headed back out into the spookily quiet streets of London Town at night-time. “What’s my name, then, milord?” Botters asked, apropos of nothing at all. “What?” I hissed, trying to keep a low profile. “Well, I can’t just be ‘a […]
Friday, April 20th, 2007
April 1856 I emerged from Tackle-Tuck’s back room some two hours later, having had an extremely pleasurable fitting session with Mrs. Tackle-Tuck. Of course, by ‘fitting session’, I mean to say I fitted my penis into her vagina. To whit: we had sex. It was not all recreation, however, and Mrs. Tackle-Tuck also did a […]
Tuesday, April 17th, 2007
April 1856 Botter strode up and down the living-room of Mr. Timothy Tackle-Tuck’s house, pausing only to observe his hideous reflection in the full-length mirror positioned at the end of the room. “I look shit-hot, my Lord,” he said, running his hand over his buttocks. “These new trousers are brilliant!” “Good, good,” I said half-heartedly. […]
Monday, April 16th, 2007
April 1856 Timothy Tackle-Tuck’s Tailor Shop is not the only store I frequent. I concede that I do not venture into the grimy, idiot-filled streets of the town all that often, preferring to send Botter in my place to buy the necessary supplies, and then beating him senseless when he fails to bring back everything […]
Friday, April 13th, 2007
April, 1856 Botter and I ran like buggery through the back-streets, stopping only once to admire the particularly striking behind of a passing flower-seller. Finally, I brought us to rest outside a boutique specialising in gentle-man’s clothing. “What are we doing here, sir?” asked Botter. “This is Timothy Tackle-Tuck’s tailor shop,” I replied, tapping the […]
Thursday, April 12th, 2007
April, 1856 Botter and I tore through the crowded streets of London Town, as if pursued by wild dogs who themselves were being pursued by giant, flaming lions. “Milord,” puffed Botter, his short flabby legs struggling to match my effortless strides. “Wh-what are we going to do now?” “We shall have to try and ensconce […]
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousingPeruse Further...
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