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Archive for September, 2007
The Last Train to Disaster
Sunday, September 30th, 2007
September, 1856 And so, with my birthday celebrations well and truly over, we must now return to the continued chronicles of my Astonishing American Adventure, an adventure so massive that it has so far taken some four months to transcribe. But then, would have you expected anything less sizable from my good self? Let us […]
Tags: Around Here, botter, Dinkle County, Lightnin Lance Likely, Lord Likely, Ludlow Likely, New York, train
Posted in An Astonishing American Adventure | 15 Comments »
If You Are Going To Party, Then Party Hard
Wednesday, September 26th, 2007
27th September, 1856.By the Duke of Wellington’s iron balls, I feel awful today. My brain feels like it has erupted into civil war, with the left cerebellum pounding the right with cannon-fire, and the right cerebellum returning fire with bloody great catapults, pelting boulders freely about my grey matter. In short, I feel like utter […]
Tags: birthday, botter, cocktails, drunk, fire, gypsies, Helena, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, orgy, party, Shitterton
Posted in Random Insertions | 15 Comments »
A Likely Birthday
Saturday, September 22nd, 2007
September 23rd, 1856 Well, today is my birthday, dear journal, and I am now another year older. More grey hairs fleck my lordly temples, and my poor bones ache more than ever with each passing day, and each fresh adventure. Time is catching up with me, I fear, and one day soon Time will have […]
Tags: birthday, botter, interval, Lord Likely, party, prostitutes, Time
Posted in Uncategorized | 24 Comments »
Interval: Lord Likely’s Schooldays
Friday, September 21st, 2007
September, 1856 I thought I would take a brief respite from chronicling my Astonishing American Adventure, to give us all a chance to regain our composure and catch our collective breaths. Latecomers may wish to use this break to catch up on my incredible journey so far, by starting at the start, as I believe […]
Tags: cock beetles, Colonel Wrenchstaff, Harold Loathsome, homosexuals, interval, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, Prof. Huntingdon, public school, schooldays, St. Bumthrusty's
Posted in Random Insertions | 14 Comments »
Back on Track
Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
July, 1856. After leaving my room, stopping off only to roger a young serving lady on the way (to assure myself that I had not gone completely homosexual after my night with Abraham Lincoln), I ventured downstairs where my brother Ludlow and Botter were waiting for me. Ludlow was incandescent with rage. “What is all […]
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, botter, Lightnin Lance Likely, Lord Likely, Ludlow Likely
Posted in An Astonishing American Adventure | 13 Comments »
The Morning After
Saturday, September 15th, 2007
July, 1856 I awoke the next morning in a daze, not quite sure of where I was or, indeed, who I was. “Lord Likely,” said a voice beside me. Ah yes, I thought. How could I forget that I was Lord Likely, aristocratic adventurer, gentle-man of action, full-time sexual acrobat and all round glorious bastard, […]
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, civil war, Lord Likely, union
Posted in An Astonishing American Adventure | 9 Comments »
Lincoln Sausage
Monday, September 10th, 2007
July, 1856. Despite Ludlow’s rather vocal protests, I decided to go off and fraternize with the other guests at the party, in the vain hope that at least one of them might want to roger me senseless. Alas, all I seemed to meet were uptight, prissy socialites who took offence at my usual party trick […]
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Barcelona Ritz, drunk, emancipation, Filthy Arsehole, Kalamazoo, Lord Likely, Ludlow Likely, New-York Evening Post, party, sausage, slavery, William Cullen Bryant
Posted in An Astonishing American Adventure | 15 Comments »
A Rather Drunk Englishman in New York
Friday, September 7th, 2007
July, 1856. Ludlow led Botter and I into his considerably spacious abode on the outskirts of New York City, stubbornly refusing to impart more information about my father’s continued existence. “Oh, don’t let us worry about that now!” he kept saying absently, ignoring my desire to very much worry about it now. I could have […]
Tags: botter, Calvert Vaux, Central Park, drunk, Emily-Rose Likely, Frederick Law Olmstead, Lord Eustace Likely, Lord Likely, Ludlow Likely, New York, party
Posted in An Astonishing American Adventure | 13 Comments »
The Outlawed Likely
Tuesday, September 4th, 2007
July, 1856. It is not often one learns that they have a hitherto unknown half-brother, who is on the run from the law and who is partial to wanton acts of bestiality. Indeed, many people may go through their entire life without learning such a fact. However, the Likely family tree is a tangled, over-grown […]
Tags: botter, crotch, Dinkle County, Lady Tabitha Likely, Lightnin Lance Likely, Lord Eustace Likely, Lord Likely, Ludlow Likely, New York, rescue mission, wanted
Posted in An Astonishing American Adventure | 12 Comments »
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About His Lordship
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing
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