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"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."

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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    Archive for December, 2008

    Reaching A Resolution

    Wednesday, December 31st, 2008

    December the Thirty-First, 1857. AS 1857 slouches off into the distance like an elderly old man who has just soiled his undergarments, it is time to welcome in the far more sprightly (and far less urine-stained) new year. Huzzah! As well as heralding a night of unbridled drinking and revelry, the coming of a new [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 11 Comments »

    The Likely Before Christmas

    Wednesday, December 24th, 2008

    The following verse was composed by a young, brothel-owning woman, by the name of Ms. Elizabeth Stuffings, who had the pleasure of meeting my lordly self this Christmas Eve. The experience was so incredibly erotic and astonishing, that Ms. Stuffings was compelled to write about it almost immediately. Do please enjoy. ‘Twas the night before [...]

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    Posted in Random Insertions | 10 Comments »

    In Which His Lordship Puts His Foot In It

    Monday, December 15th, 2008

    November, 1857. “I SHALL indeed take the case!” I bellowed enthusiastically. “Provided I am sufficiently remunerated for my services, of course.” “Absolutely, Likely. We shall pay you your usual fee, of that there is no question!” replied Inspector Spunkleford. “Hmmm…no, dear inspector. Not this time. I think this time I should like to be paid [...]

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    Posted in The Bastard Bootblack Of Bilgecranny Lane | 16 Comments »

    The Cream of the Crop

    Monday, December 8th, 2008

    November, 1857. “LIE back and close your eyes, and I shall deliver a creamy surprise!” I said, as I unsheathed my raging Lord Palmerston, which was, by now, stiffer than a corpse lying in a lake on a freezing cold winter’s day. “Mmmm,” Mrs. Bapps replied, licking her lips. “Sounds delicious!” “Jolly good!” I said, [...]

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    Posted in The Bastard Bootblack Of Bilgecranny Lane | 12 Comments »

    Wherein His Lordship Has His Cake And Proceeds To Eat It

    Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

    November, 1857 “Well then, sir,” purred the beautiful, buxom baker Mrs. Bapps as she leant forward, giving me another glorious glimpse of her heaving bosom. “Do you see anything you would like?” “Rather!” I beamed. “Yes?” she continued, scooping up some cream from off of the top of a nearby cake with her finger, and [...]

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    Posted in The Bastard Bootblack Of Bilgecranny Lane | 16 Comments »

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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