The Astonishing Adventures of
Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"
THE TOWN CRIER
Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
February 24th, 1857. There are few things more horrifying, more terrible, more downright cataclysmic than running out of alcohol. The awfulness of this situation is multiplied by a factor of a million when one is supposed to be holding a magnificent ball to celebrate the one-year anniversary of one’s journals, as I had proposed. Immediate [...]
Sunday, February 24th, 2008
February the Twenty-Fourth, Eighteen Fifty-Seven Oh, dear diary! Today is a special day indeed, for it heralds the one year anniversary of our joyous union! Can it really be twelve months since I first opened you up, took my quill firmly in my hand and thrust it betwixt your soft, creamy pages, and filled you [...]
Thursday, February 21st, 2008
February the 22nd, 1857. I had been admiring myself for two hours in the mirror this morning, when I came to the inescapable conclusion that I was looking considerably less than my usual dapper self. My hair was approximately half an inch longer than usual, and my moustache had begun to resemble an unkempt hedge [...]
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Monday, February 18th, 2008
February 18th, 1857. My man-servant, Botter, bought me the morning’s news-papers today, as he does every day lest he wishes to receive a swift boot to the backside. Today, however, I rather wished he had not bothered, for a quick flick through the day’s copy of The London Early Morning News Stories and Illustrated Plates [...]
Thursday, February 14th, 2008
February 14th, 1857.It will come as no surprise to those who know me that I find myself inundated with Valentine’s Day cards every February the fourteenth. From anonymous declarations of love, to heavily-scented letters from female admirers begging me to deposit my noble seed inside their wanton mimsies, I receive them all by the sack-load. [...]
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
Behold! The Double-length Conclusion to Lord Likely’s Latest Astonishing Adventure! 1st of May, 1851. As Mr. Harry Flashman and I dashed off to find my missing man-servant, I took the time to explain precisely how my stinking servant had become an integral part of our latest mystery, the disappearance of the Koh-i-Noor Diamond. “Here is [...]
Saturday, February 9th, 2008
May 1st, 1851. There is a sexual position well-practiced among a small tribe in deepest, darkest Africa, called ‘The Flaming Blow-Pipe‘. Not much is known about the position, except for one very important thing: out of those who practice it, only a handful survive to live to tell the tale. And even then, those poor [...]
Thursday, February 7th, 2008
In which his lordship interrupts proceedings with a brief commercial interval. February, 1857. Good day, all! We all know how incredible, amazing, dashing, debonair and all-round damned-well astonishing I am, but still there remain people in this wide world who have no idea of how fantastic I truly am. With this in mind, I have [...]
Monday, February 4th, 2008
May 1st, 1851. Mr. Harry Flashman and I picked Botter up off the floor, where he was lying, sobbing, in among hundreds of shards of broken glass; and then the three of us dashed off until we were a safe distance away from the Crystal Palace and our three pursuers. “Bloody hell, I fear I [...]
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousingPeruse Further...
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All funds raised go towards his lordship's drinking fund, with absolutely NO proceeds going to the homeless or any other filthy wastrels