The Astonishing Adventures of
Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"
THE TOWN CRIER
Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
â€”Lord Likely in Exile in Australiaâ€” Lord Likely rises to power in Australia. Part Two, in which, his cream rising to the top, Lord Likely becomes master of his domain: May 21, 1862 I begin to father numerous children. The husbands of the childrenâ€™s mothers are not amused. — So there I was, standing on [...]
Monday, May 26th, 2008
â€”The Sad Chronicles of Lord Likely in Exileâ€” Part One: Lord Likely lands in Australia. â€œWith the aid of a friendly native, I come upon my new home.â€ 19th May, 1861 Botany Bay Sydney, New South Wales Her Majestyâ€™s Austrailian Territories So there I was, standing, finally, on the soil of my new homeland, staring [...]
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
The Tower of London, 10th of April in the year of Our Lord 1857 This document is being written in the hope that it might be smuggled out of this wretched place and its contents disseminated, so that I may be freed and my name cleared. At the very least, I hope that my family [...]
Friday, May 16th, 2008
If ever I’m asked to name my favourite periodical – and it hasn’t happened yet but one never gives up hope – then I shall leap to my feet and proclaim clearly and with great pride that I never go anywhere without a rolled up edition of The Cockney Slapper tucked down the front of [...]
Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
Inquires Continue for Missing Heiress. Scotland Yard Remains Hopeful. The investigation over the disappearance of Miss. Elizabeth Hathawaycontinues. Inspector Spunkleford of the Yard revealed to the Press severalpieces of evidence, in the form of letters taken from the missing girl’s room. “We intend to find the young lady”, said Spunkleford. “These letters give usseveral new [...]
Monday, May 12th, 2008
Still woozy, I missed the ‘All Rise!’, and Doctor Watson jarred me awake rudely. “Ouch!” I complained. The act of dragging the thick, heavy shackles upward seemed impossible, but I complied. The man at the bench -presumably the Judge- set his glasses on his nose and eyed me carefully. “Is he drunk, Chief Inspector?” “I [...]
Thursday, May 8th, 2008
c/o Sir Henry FelchingtonBummage & Quim Home Decor Ltd.Felchington EstateCummington PalaceCummingtonCU72 9XV Sir Henry Felchington, On the birth of our saviour in the year of 1856 just passed, my good wife presented me with a gift of incredible magnitude, a full scale crystal replica of the phallus belonging to esteemed adventurer and aristocrat, Lord Likely. [...]
Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
April the Seventh, 1857. “Botter,” I said, as I strode into the living room of my luxurious mansion on a sunny, April morn. “Get yourself packed, my good man. We are going!” “Going?” repeated Botter, adhering to a lifelong pattern of complete befuddlement and utter bewilderment. “Going where, milord?” “I do not know, Botter. All [...]
Sunday, May 4th, 2008
April, 1857. So, there I was; standing in a moonlit wood with a monster’s cock in my hands, inadvertently working him up into a state of complete arousal. It is funny how life turns out, sometimes. Having started to get the beast worked up, I reasoned that it was only polite to finish the job [...]
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousingPeruse Further...
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