The Astonishing Adventures of
Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"
THE TOWN CRIER
Friday, September 26th, 2008
September, 1857. “Oh dear,” I sighed, as we entered the kitchens of St. Bumthrusty’s. The scene was one of utter chaos; items of cutlery were strewn about the place, food items were spilt everywhere, and slumped next to the stove was the body of a man. I knelt down beside the corpse, which I noticed [...]
Sunday, September 21st, 2008
September, 1857. We all headed towards the large, oak doors of St. Bumthrusty’s School for Boys; Botter lagging slightly behind the rest of us, nursing his freshly clobbered cranium. ‘Class of 1832, Please Proceed This Way‘, read a sign affixed to the door, an arrow indicating that we should head around the side of the [...]
Friday, September 19th, 2008
September, 1857. Having assured myself that my wretched man-servant, Botter, was not trying to expediate my exit from this life to the next, I turned my attention back to the fact that there was a twisted fiend still on the loose, who had not only murdered a teacher at my old school but who had [...]
Sunday, September 14th, 2008
September, 1857. I think I may well attend this. Sounds like jolly good fun, I must say. Toodle-pip! – Lord Likely. Next Time in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely: We return you to our current adventure in progress, A Lesson in Murder! humor-blogs.com once killed a man. Well, we say ‘kill’. We mean ‘touched [...]
Tuesday, September 9th, 2008
September, 1857. Just as I was contemplating the possibility that my wretched man-servant, Botter, might be out to kill me, a hansom cab drew up beside us and out hopped the bastard in question. “Milord!” beamed Botter. “I have something for you!” Then, to my utter astonishment, Botter placed his hand into his inside coat-pocket, [...]
Friday, September 5th, 2008
September, 1857. “Who on God’s green earth would want to kill me?” I spluttered indignantly, as I held the rather threatening note from a would-be assassin in my hands. “Surely everybody likes Likely?” Inspector Albert Spunkleford shuffled awkwardly in his place, deftly avoiding my gaze by looking up into the sky and whistling discordantly into [...]
Monday, September 1st, 2008
September the First, 1857. It was a typical, completely unremarkable after-noon in London Town; carriages clattered noisily up and down the cobbled roads, smartly-dressed gentlemen doffed their hats as pretty ladies glided past them, cheeky cockney urchins weaved in and out of crowds, laughing and screaming as they did, while high above their heads Big [...]
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousingPeruse Further...
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