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Likely's Whore-Box
Completed Tales
- The Likely Letters
- The Strange Case of the Sinister Snowman
- The Filching Fog of Finsbury Park
- Our Mutual Fiend
- Botter's Astonishing Adventure
- The Bloody Baffling Buckingham Bluff
- One Score and Four
- A Christmas Carry On
- Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances
- The Puzzling Pearl Necklace Puzzle
- The Bastard Bootblack Of Bilgecranny Lane
- Likely Vs Loathsome
- Disaster At The Likely Estate
- The Beast With Two Backs
- Likely Is One
- Lord Likely And The Flash Man
- The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity
- An Astonishing American Adventure
- The Mystery of the Missing Moustache
- The Riddle Of The Runaway Romanov
- The Peculiar Prostitute Predicament
Additional Amusements
Praise For Lord Likely
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
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The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity
Balls of Steel, and Rod of Iron
Wednesday, December 19th, 2007
November, 1856. “Are you comfortable?” chortled Silas Surprise, as he double-checked the locks on the box inside of which my lordly form was now contained. “I would be considerably more comfortable if I was not inside this box,” I ventured. “Ha! A commendable try, your lordship! Most commendable indeed! Alas, I am afraid you are […]
Tags: arousal, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, penis, Queen Victoria, saw, Silas Surprise, theatre
Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 8 Comments »
Lord Likely chases the dragon
Saturday, December 15th, 2007
November, 1856. “Well,” I said, pulling my trousers back up following my recent bout of intercourse. “I think that concludes my…cross examination. Now, Mr. Silas Surprise, I shall be going, but I dare say that I shall return in due course, and I shall bring with me conclusive evidence that you are nothing more than […]
Tags: botter, hallucination, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, magic, opium, saw, Silas Surprise, snake, vagina
Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 10 Comments »
Wherein his lordship pumps a suspect for clues.
Thursday, December 13th, 2007
November, 1856. The first thing I noticed about Mr. Silas Surprise was the enormous size of his wand. I could not help but notice it, really. As Archie, the doctor and I entered Mr. Surprise’s dressing-room to confront him over our recent tussle with an alarmingly un-dead gentleman, we found the conjurer standing proudly next […]
Tags: Archibald the Entirely Adequate, assistant, Doctor, intercourse, interrogation, King of Spades, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, Silas Surprise, theatre, undead bastard, wand envy
Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 10 Comments »
The Horrifying Horror of the Undead Bounder
Monday, December 10th, 2007
November, 1856. When one dies, I firmly believe that one should stay dead. It is rather bad form to suddenly spring back to life, and considerably worse form still to then attempt to eat the brains of anyone else in the vicinity. People tend to frown upon such cannibalistic actions in polite society. Yet it […]
Tags: Archibald the Entirely Adequate, botter, brains, Doctor, fight, King of Spades, Lord Likely, mystery, Silas Surprise, theatre, undead bastard
Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 9 Comments »
The mystery thickens, curdles and then goes off.
Thursday, December 6th, 2007
November, 1856.“Is there a doctor in the house?” I repeated to the crowd of stunned faces before me. No-one moved a muscle, until one rather plump woman stood up and pointed a shaking finger at the recently deceased fellow, lying in a pool of his own blood on the stage behind me, a solitary playing […]
Tags: Archibald the Entirely Adequate, bastard zomibe, botter, Doctor Corkscrews, King of Spades, Lord Likely, murder, panic, theatre
Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 10 Comments »
In which an unfortunate fellow is slain by a King.
Thursday, November 29th, 2007
November, 1856. As I finally took my seat in the theatre’s auditorium, next to my man-servant Botter, the curtains rose on what was going to prove to be an unforgettable show – for all the wrong reasons. First on were the chorus girls, with whom I had already had the pleasure of acquainting myself with […]
Tags: Archibald the Entirely Adequate, botter, card trick, King of Spades, magic, murder, Rule Britannia, stoats, theatre
Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 10 Comments »
Wherein his lordship takes a trip down Memory Lane, and vomits up some anecdotes.
Monday, November 26th, 2007
November, 1856. Needless to say, after being caught with his trousers around his ankles with a solitary playing card sticking out of his arse-crack, Archibald the Entirely Adequate looked more than slightly embarrassed, and less than entirely adequate. “And what is going on here?” I asked, with mock outrage in my voice. “Good heavens! Likely!” […]
Tags: Archibald the Entirely Adequate, botter, card trick, drunk, Ginger Harrison, Harold Loathsome, Lord Likely, Lord Palmerston, memories, nun, show, St. Bumthrusty's, theatre, whisky
Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 9 Comments »
A forced entrance, and an uncomfortable exit.
Thursday, November 22nd, 2007
November, 1856.Having rather skillfully and artfully negotiated my entrance into the theatre, I was feeling somewhat chipper, that is until my progress was once again impeded upon, this time by a rather old chap wearing a comically ill-fitting waistcoat. I regarded him with barely-concealed derision. “Good evening, sirs,” the fellow croaked. “Could I just see […]
Tags: Archibald the Entirely Adequate, arse, botter, card trick, chorus girls, Lord Likely, magic, Mr. Helix Thrunt, Silas Surprise, stoats, theatre
Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 9 Comments »
In which his lordship hits the town – right in the balls.
Monday, November 19th, 2007
November 20th, 1856. It was a freezing cold, damp and drizzly November evening, and rather than being snugly ensconced in the warmth of my luxurious mansion, I was outside, standing in the rain, getting wetter and more irate with each passing second. “What in the name of blue-arsed buggery am I doing here?” I snapped […]
Tags: Archibald the Entirely Adequate, bestiality, botter, bruised bollock, drunk, gas, lion, Lord Likely, magic, show, Silas Surprise, theatre
Posted in The Curious Case of The Conjuring Calamity | 8 Comments »
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About His Lordship
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing
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