The Astonishing Adventures of
Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"
THE TOWN CRIER
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
Behold! The Double-length Conclusion to Lord Likely’s Latest Astonishing Adventure! 1st of May, 1851. As Mr. Harry Flashman and I dashed off to find my missing man-servant, I took the time to explain precisely how my stinking servant had become an integral part of our latest mystery, the disappearance of the Koh-i-Noor Diamond. “Here is [...]
Saturday, February 9th, 2008
May 1st, 1851. There is a sexual position well-practiced among a small tribe in deepest, darkest Africa, called ‘The Flaming Blow-Pipe‘. Not much is known about the position, except for one very important thing: out of those who practice it, only a handful survive to live to tell the tale. And even then, those poor [...]
Monday, February 4th, 2008
May 1st, 1851. Mr. Harry Flashman and I picked Botter up off the floor, where he was lying, sobbing, in among hundreds of shards of broken glass; and then the three of us dashed off until we were a safe distance away from the Crystal Palace and our three pursuers. “Bloody hell, I fear I [...]
Thursday, January 31st, 2008
May the First, Eighteen Fifty-One. “Aye,” said Harry Flashman, leaning in to get a closer look at the Koh-i-Noor Diamond, now believed to be a fake. “I’ll say we have a mystery on our hands. This one is definitely not the real thing.” “Now, Mr. Flashman, are you absolutely certain? I need you to be [...]
Thursday, January 24th, 2008
May 1st, 1851 Mr. Harry Flashman, my man-servant Botter and my fantastically fabulous self made quick on our collective legs, and dashed off to try and escape the oncoming police, who had been alerted to our presence by our fantastically furious bout of fisticuffs just moments before. As we sprinted through the bustling aisles of [...]
Monday, January 21st, 2008
May the First, 1851. With nothing but revenge filling my heart and my thoughts, I marched on after Mr. Harry Flashman, and the three Indian beauties he had just swiped from under my noble nose. I fully intended to show the swaggering cock-end exactly what happens to the man foolish enough to interfere with my [...]
Thursday, January 17th, 2008
May the 1st, 1851. After being released from gaol by Inspector Albert Spunkleford, I made it my first point of business to put as much distance between myself and my detestable former cell-mate, Mr. Harry Flashman. I hailed a passing hansom cab, and headed back to the Crystal Palace, leaving Flash Harry to be fawned [...]
Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
January 15th, 1857. Now, where the bloody hell was I? Ah, yes. May 1st, 1851. “Harry who?” I asked, although to be honest my actual interest in my cell-mate was extremely minimal. “Harry Flashman,” repeated the fellow, “I imagine you have heard of me, of course.” He grinned with self-satisfaction and pride, characteristics I was [...]
Thursday, January 10th, 2008
January the Tenth, 1857. To be quite honest, the year eighteen fifty-seven has so far been rather disappointing. I’m aware that the year is still very much in its infancy, but infant or not, this year must try damned harder or it shall feel my boot in its backside. Why, I have only gotten drunk [...]
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousingPeruse Further...
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