The Astonishing Adventures of
Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-man of Action
"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."
THE DAILY NEWS SHEET
"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."
THE LONDON LOOKER
"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."
LORD FISHSTICK'S NEWSPAPER
"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."
THE ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL OF NEWS
"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"
THE TOWN CRIER
Saturday, March 29th, 2008
or Lord Likely is One: The Final Chapter. March, 1857. Having been left a homeless wretch, caked in vomit and piss and with my natural sense of style and grace rent asunder, I was naturally more than a little displeased with those vagrant swines who had placed me in such a position. In fact, it [...]
Monday, March 24th, 2008
Somewhen, 1857. Now where was I? Ah, yes. In the gutter, in a pool of my own urine, apparently homeless and with no recollection of who I really was. In other (decidedly more succinct) words, I was in big trouble. I elected to try and get up, and maybe take a stroll to see if [...]
Sunday, March 16th, 2008
or Lord Likely is One, chapter number six. Date unknown, 1857. I awoke with the most awful of headaches. I am no stranger to hangovers, of course. My hedonistic lifestyle dictates that I often wake up with a fierce, pounding headache and with little or no recollection of the previous twenty-four hours. Indeed, the entire [...]
Thursday, March 13th, 2008
or Lord Likely is One, Chapter Number Five. Having pumped the incredibly freakish Jennifer, the Incredibly Freakish, and filled her with so much of my man-cream that she was nothing more than a walking, human Ã©clair, I decided that it was high-time for a little light refreshment. I headed back to the scrap-yard, where I [...]
Saturday, March 8th, 2008
or Lord Likely is One – Part the Fourth. February, 1857.Miss Jennifer the Incredibly Freakish was an arresting, trouser-tightening sight; and I knew right there and then that I simply had to have her. And suffice to say, what I desire, I ultimately get. I am Lord Likely, after all. “Why on Earth do you [...]
Saturday, March 1st, 2008
February 24th, 1857. Against all my better judgement, I followed the foul-smelling, cider-swigging reprobate as he led us through the twisting back-streets and alley-ways of the city. I made sure that Botter, my man-servant, kept closely behind me, lest any more ruffians leapt from the shadows and tried to bugger me six ways to the [...]
Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
February 24th, 1857. There are few things more horrifying, more terrible, more downright cataclysmic than running out of alcohol. The awfulness of this situation is multiplied by a factor of a million when one is supposed to be holding a magnificent ball to celebrate the one-year anniversary of one’s journals, as I had proposed. Immediate [...]
Sunday, February 24th, 2008
February the Twenty-Fourth, Eighteen Fifty-Seven Oh, dear diary! Today is a special day indeed, for it heralds the one year anniversary of our joyous union! Can it really be twelve months since I first opened you up, took my quill firmly in my hand and thrust it betwixt your soft, creamy pages, and filled you [...]
Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.
Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousingPeruse Further...
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All funds raised go towards his lordship's drinking fund, with absolutely NO proceeds going to the homeless or any other filthy wastrels