26 May 2012
Upper Class Twitter
AS A gentleman who always has his finger firmly on the pulse (while his other hand is usually occupied elsewhere), I pride myself on keeping very much up-to-date with the current technological advancements.
For proof of my terrific timeliness, take into account my use of the Twittering Device, a service I have been using for some four-and-a-half years now, much before many of these current glory-seeking advocates of the form. PAH! A pox on them and their one hundred and forty characters, I say!
Since I joined Twitter, I have been sharing my wisest of words, my wittiest quips and even a charming picture of my Johnson, all of which has lead thousands of fine folk of inestimable good taste flocking to ‘follow’ me, in order to drink greedily from my fountain of knowledge. Happily, my spout is big enough for them all!
So, to celebrate my four and a half years of top-class tweeting (and because this is the year of my Wooden Jubilee), here are my ten best ‘Tweets’, according to favstar.fm. Do please enjoy!
I’m not entirely convinced that ‘telegram sex’ will really catch on, you know. twitter.com/lordlikely/sta…
— ♚ Lord Likely ♚ (@lordlikely) May 6, 2012
I AM as British as fish and chips, wrapped in a Union Jack. With a cup of tea. In the rain. While standing in a queue. #proudtobebritish
— ♚ Lord Likely ♚ (@lordlikely) April 29, 2011
AFTER weighing up the pros and cons, I have concluded that professionals are generally lighter than convicts.
— ♚ Lord Likely ♚ (@lordlikely) September 6, 2011
An antelope is what occurs when two ants love each other very much, and wish to flee from their disapproving parents. #likelypedia
— ♚ Lord Likely ♚ (@lordlikely) January 18, 2012
TODAY is #worldbookday, so I shall be picking up a nice, big book and using it to clobber anyone who says they cannot be bothered to read.
— ♚ Lord Likely ♚ (@lordlikely) March 1, 2012
I AM off to buy Ballade No.1 in G minor, Rondo in E-flat minor and Fantaisie in F minor. ‘Tis a lot to remember, but I have my Chopin list.
— ♚ Lord Likely ♚ (@lordlikely) September 6, 2011
MR. SHERLOCK HOLMES was arrested for being under the influence of alcohol whilst attempting to deduce. He was charged with drink deriving.
— ♚ Lord Likely ♚ (@lordlikely) September 2, 2011
I MET some cannibals once, who offered me a lightly-seasoned German chap for lunch. I declined, as I didn’t have enough thyme on my Hans.
— ♚ Lord Likely ♚ (@lordlikely) January 6, 2011
THEY say that ‘sorry’ is the hardest word to say. I’d argue that ‘floccinaucinihilipilification’ is much more difficult.
— ♚ Lord Likely ♚ (@lordlikely) October 10, 2010
EV’RY time I am retweeted, I lower my trousers half an inch.
— ♚ Lord Likely ♚ (@lordlikely) July 29, 2010
Why not join me and my three and a half thousand wonderful Twitter chums (or ‘twums’) by following me on Twitter today, lest you miss out on future pearls of wisdom! And if you are ALREADY one of my twums – hello! And many thanks for your support, I only wish I could shake you by the hands and/or kiss you deeply, and passionately on the mouths.
Toodle-pip!
– Lord Likely.
