07 September 2014
A Study in Strumpets and a Curious Conspiracy
If you are wondering where I have been for the past month (and if you have not, I suggest you take a good, hard long look at your life choices), then let me now ease your worried mind and un-knot your brow, as I reveal that I have been busy pulling together the manuscript for my first electronic book!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my new Astonishing Adventure is entitled ‘A Study in Strumpets’ and follows your handsome hero (that being me, of course) as I attempt to track down that most villainous of curs – Jack the Ripper. This thrilling tale will appear in the form of an electronic book, heralding the beginning of a brand-new series of my adventures coming your way very, very soon.
However, just as I am adding some finesse to those final full-stops, news reaches my noble ears that some other blaggard is claiming to have revealed the true identity of the notorious Ripper.
According to to-day’s Daily Mail (I shall not link to that rag, for it hates all forms of joy and pleasure that this life may bring) a gentleman named Mr. Edward Russell has claimed that DNA evidence shows the identity of the Ripper to be a Mr. Aaron Kosminski, a Polish hairdresser.
Of course, it is typical of that particular journal to lay the blame for society’s ills at the feet of an immigrant, but might this latest story also be part of a conspiracy to silence the ACTUAL truth, to be revealed in my own forthcoming publication? Could the all-powerful press be trying to suppress my story to protect others? Could my version of events be far too controversial and contentious for the establishment to handle? Or is the top hat that I am currently wearing on rather too tight?
I shall let you, my dear, faithful and ever so beautiful readers, judge for yourselves when A Study in Strumpets is released. The truth is out there, and soon, it shall be deep inside you too.
– Lord Likely.