10 September 2014
LAST WEEK I broke the frankly earth-shattering news that I was to be releasing an electronic book of one of my most astonishing adventures very soon. Nations rejoiced, and there was much hugging and heavy-petting in the streets that day.
Whilst you wait for this most important of literary works, I thought I would direct you towards another electronic book featuring my good self, which you can purchase RIGHT THIS INSTANT.
Yes, dear readers, your eyes do not deceive you! For you see, a few years ago my scribe, Mr. A. D Fanton, teamed up with the enigmatic and acronymic author known as MCM. The fruits of their sordid little collaboration was a short tale entitled ‘The Man With The Improbable Leg’, which saw me enter into a partnership with A TALKING DUCK.
I’m not sure if I was heavily drunk at the time and hallucinated the entire episode, but it certainly sounds like it. Behold the book’s synopsis:
“While vacationing in London, Archimedes and Finley the foul-mouthed telekinetic fish find themselves caught up in a strange murder plot that reaches into the upper echelons of social power… including the formidable Lord Likely, who fastens his belt long enough to avenge the death of a favourite lover. But as a greater plot unfolds, Archimedes and Likely find themselves on a collision course… one that may unravel the very social fabric of Great Britain, and let ninjas and bombastic Irish midgets run free!”
See what I mean? Utter insanity.
In any case, this is a fun little curio, and as it features me it is instantly rendered indispensable, especially as it only costs seventy-seven English pence (or one dollar and thirty-three cents if you are one of those former colonials).
Feel free to put this duck-based adventure on your bill. BILL! Ah-haha!
– Lord Likely.