Likely's Whore-Box

Praise For Lord Likely

"A journal so exciting, I fear I soiled myself no less than fourteen times."


"Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries, I went out and set fire to a homeless wretch to celebrate."


"I ejaculated so hard, my library had to be closed off for an entire week."


"Everyone should buy a copy of these diaries, then have sex with them."


"Hear ye, hear ye, Lord Likely is fucking ace!"


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  • The Crest of Lord Likely

    16 October 2015

    Lord Likely Is A Card


    I AM something of an avid card player, and may often be found in a local tavern indulging in a few hands of either poker or Blackjack, or perhaps one of the less well-known games such as ‘Seven-Card Scrote’, ‘Twat the Joker’ or ‘Queen on Top.’ Perhaps my favourite game, however, is ‘Flinging a Gin in Your Opponent’s Face and Scarpering Before You Lose Yet Another Grand.’ Ah, cards. The game of kings!

    So it was something of a delight to discover that my own handsome visage features in a brand-new card game, even if it does mean that I must share a deck with that incorrigible cur, Professor Elemental.

    Yes, despite our differences, the Professor has seen fit to include me in the deck for his edition of the game ‘Pairs’ (probably because he does at least have the sense to see that my addition will help sales of this game to soar), produced by Hip Pocket Games and which is available to purchase hither.

    However, being the benevolent sort that I am, I have decided to offer my damnably fabulous readers the opportunity to win one of THREE packs of said cards. I know, I know. I AM staggeringly generous.

    To be in with a chance of winning a pack, simply answer this question:

    I have in my hand a deck of ordinary playing cards. They are shuffled, and I draw one card out of the pack. My question is this: which card is it?

    Simply write your guess (serious or silly) in the comments below, or send me an electronic mail (with ‘Is This Your Card?’ in the subject header). Alternatively, send me a tweet with the hashtag #isthisyourcard, or enter via The Book of Many Faces. Three lucky, lucky winners will be selected on November the 1st. No cash alternatives offered, so do not ask, you scrounging beggars. Winners will be selected based on either guessing the card correctly, or in the event of no-one getting it spot on, the closest or most humorous guesses shall triumph. His lordship’s decision is FINAL, and anyone wishing to dispute it may speak with my Thundercock, my pet lion.

    Good luck!

    – Lord Likely.


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    6 incredible interjections thus far.


    The winning card of course!
    Mines a gin, (not a stiff pink one!)

    OldNich, October 16th, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    James Swyer

    The seven of diamonds.

    It’s always the seven of diamonds.

    James Swyer, October 20th, 2015 at 9:49 am


    Multani- Maro Sorcerer

    Has power & toughness each equal to all the cards in all players hands.

    Multani cannot be the target of magic or abilities.

    Annabell, October 20th, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    Walt Rennoa

    The esteemed Lord Likely magically draws his own card, which has mysteriously appeared within the deck of ordinary playing cards. All of his opponents are immediately crippled emotionally due to this turn of events and he wins the game.

    Walt Rennoa, October 26th, 2015 at 12:16 am

    Jamie Willmott

    The queens of hearts, drawn like one of your french girls.

    Jamie Willmott, October 27th, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    Esther Friesner

    Ah, well played, m’lud, clearly a trick question. Your wiles are as admirable as your moustache, if not half so fashionable. For how can any deck of the Devil’s Pasteboards remain “ordinary” once it has been touched by Your Lordship’s well-attested-to-as-magic hands? The deuce you say! (Oh fine, then I too shall say. . .the deuce.)

    Esther Friesner, October 28th, 2015 at 11:12 am

    Speak Forth to the Lord

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    About His Lordship

    Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

    Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing

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